Page 36 of When You Dance
The wedding was beautiful, and all I could think about was Sandrene and how I wished she would have come with me. Everyone had someone there for them, except me, Arrow, Ali, and Seneca. Technically, Seneca had someone there, he just couldn’t say anything. Kaysyn and her two kids had made it in for DJ and Shavozz’s nuptials. It was like he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, and it was somewhat noticeable.
When I asked Arrow what was up, he said that Seneca said he cared for her a lot, but that they couldn’t pursue anything more than what they were doing. He said he chose to leave it alone because it seemed like Kaysyn was the one that was gonna break that nigga’s heart. Seneca was private and didn’t like telling his business, but I was pretty sure he probably loved her. If he didn’t, the nigga was close as hell.
As I made my way back to the bathroom with her drink, I heard my phone ringing. It was late as fuck, so I didn’t know who was calling me. I didn’t bother going back to it. I continued to Sandrene to see her phone in her hand. “Were you calling me?”
“Yes, to ask if you had any Tylenol.”
“Oh. I thought I was gon’ have to curse somebody ass out. I do. Here’s your drink. Let me help you get situated though.”
The water was about to overflow. She seemed to be so out of it. I knew she was in her head big time. That shit botheredme.Not only did he sexually assault a woman, that woman was his sister. No wonder he was in that cop car crying.Bitch.Now he knew how another man would have felt had it been their sister, daughter, or mother.
I turned the water off, then eased up behind her. She flinched when I touched her. She was staring in the mirror at the vanity, so I thought she’d seen me. Wrapping my arms around her, I said, “Come on, baby. Get in the water and soak. Don’t worry about anything else.”
I grabbed some bath soak from the cabinet that I kept here for whenever my mama visited and poured it in the water then helped Sandrene undress. She was trembling as I did so, and I didn’t know how to console her. I didn’t know what to say to soothe her.
When I was about to pull away, she pulled me to her. “Jamel, I’m sorry for being so difficult. I just… there’s a lot we need to talk about, starting with my family.”
“We don’t have to talk about it now, baby. I know you’ve had a rough day.”
“No! I need to talk about it so I can sleep.” She lowered her head for a moment. “I’m sorry for yelling. I just feel like my emotions are everywhere. I need to talk it out.”
“No apology needed.”
I kissed her forehead and helped her to the tub. She didn’t seem to be hurt physically, but I wanted to be sure. Once she sat in the water and exhaled, I gave her the drink. She gulped it then handed the glass back to me. “You want more?”
She shook her head rapidly. “Can you stay in here with me?”
“Yeah.”
It was somewhat warm because of the heat from the hot water, so I took off my shirt then put the toilet lid down and sat, waiting for what she would say next. “When I was born, my mama started hemorrhaging internally. They had to perform an emergency hysterectomy. My dad was pissed. He didn’t want to sign the paperwork. To him, because my mother could no longer have children, she was useless. However, they stayed married. I had a pretty normal childhood. My dad was gone a lot, and I assumed it was because he was working.”
She stopped and took a deep breath. I went to the tub and sat on the floor next to her and gently stroked her cheek. “When he died in a plane crash was when I found out that the little girl that had teased me all through elementary and middle school was the daughter of a woman he’d been sleeping with. He’d started another family. I’d never really asked how many kids that woman had from him, because I didn’t care to know them, but my mama had told me anyway. So I was verifying what I already knew when I asked him.”
She shook her head as I grabbed the sponge and squeezed water over her shoulders. “My mama and I had it hard when he died. We only received fifty thousand from his insurance policy. Most of the money went to them because she had more kids. My mama had to pay for his funeral out of that money and get braces for me because my teeth were horrible. After we moved to a different neighborhood, that money was gone. I had to find a job. I worked fast food while I was in high school, but that wasn’t enough.”
I knew where this was going. That was when she started stripping. “For years… until I was twenty, I looked for better employment. Nobody wanted to hire me. I really wanted to be a model or a professional dancer. My dance classes fell by the wayside after he died because we could no longer afford them. I finally went to Onyx, and she loved the way I danced. The only problem was that I was shy as hell. I didn’t want to get naked, but I was desperate. We needed the money badly. I asked her if I could wear the mask because I didn’t want anyone to know what I was doing. I didn’t want my mother to find out.”
“She was religious?” I asked, interrupting her.
“Yeah, somewhat. She didn’t think it was becoming of a woman to do that. She frowned when watching a movie or music video and a woman was showing too much skin.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. So that was how the mask came to be. I found that people liked the mystery though. After I overcame my shyness and started to really develop my shows, I was unstoppable. I never stopped looking for a regular job though. The problem was that no one could pay me the amount of money I was used to making at first. By the time I was making good money, I loved dancing at the club. I was never that girl that had attention. I loved the attention dancing got me. I felt sexy and desired, something I’d never felt my entire life.”
I smiled at her. “I don’t know why, because you are gorgeous. I thought so the day I saw you at your job. I’d given up on getting a chance with Obsession.”
“Did I ever tell you that I’d nicknamed you Bandz?”
“Bandz? What the fuck?” I asked as I chuckled.
“Yeah. You were dropping so much money on the weekends. I still remember the first show you attended. You dropped a grand on the stage that night.”
“You had me gone. I asked Leilani about you, damn near grilling her. She laughed at me like I was crazy, but she let me know that I would never get close to you… to Obsession.”
“She knows who I am. I actually forgot she knew until tonight. Besides the owner, she’s the only one Ithoughtknew. Somehow, Desire knew. I wonder if Leilani let it slip… or maybe she saw me when I used to change in the bathroom. I would occasionally take off my mask in the bathroom up until a year ago when Leilani saw me. I wear it at all times now and have been since then… until tonight. They all know what I look like now.”
“What do you plan to do?”
