Page 27 of Courting Envy
Well, he should learn to knock. One day, he might walk in on something a lot less innocent.
Lucien followed behind me, and we settled into couches opposite from each other. I poured myself coffee, and grabbed a pastry, not worrying about the mess I was making.
"Are you eating?" I asked.
He looked like he had something stuck in his throat, and I had a feeling it was going to come flying out any minute now.
"Can you just say what you need to?" I said. "I'd really like us to move past this."
"I can't share you," he stated.
"You aren't sharing me," I said lightly. "You don't own me. I'm not a toy that is being passed around. I'm my own person, and anything I choose to give to you is all yours." I hoped that he wouldn't blow up at this statement, but I didn't know him well enough yet to predict his movements.
Thank fuck I wasn't stuck in Wrath! I would never have handled that.
"You aremyqueen," he said.
I shook my head, disappointment crushing my stomach. "Remember that talk we had, just yesterday? I'm here, and I'm the queen, but I'm not yours. I'll play happy families when I need to, but you and I still have work to do."
It was so hard to stay strong on this when part of me just wanted to pull him near and have him ravish me, while the other part of me wanted him to just go away.
He let out a growl of frustration and leaned his head against the back of the couch, sighing. "I hate the idea of someone else touching you," he said, his voice quieter now, the heat from before gone. "It rips me apart to imagine their lips on yours, and the moment anyone else thinks that you're fair game I lose all respect. No one will want me as their leader, not a demon prince who can't keep his queen satisfied."
"Oh. My. Gods." I laughed so hard at his ridiculous statement. "That's what this is about? Your masculinity is so fragile that you can't share me? Are you that insecure?"
Lucien shot up from the couch, the anger back again, his magic flaring around him. He didn't speak though, kept his thoughts in his head as he stalked back and forth. Then he spun to face me. "We are in Envy. I know this place, have ruled here for hundreds of years. We all want what we can't have, we all covet others, and you, Rava, are the brightest jewel in this place."
His words left me speechless, reeling. I had somehow managed to forget that I was in a foreign land, that I didn't know the rules and ways of this place. There might be some truth in his fears about others wanting me, or thinking that they could steal me away, but I knew that wasn't all there was to this.
I felt a tingle in my fingers, along my spine, my own magic reaching up to try and fix this problem between us. I stood, the floor rippling beneath my feet as I approached him. My body was on fire with the magic, different this time to when I'd changed my room, changed the light. There were so many emotions swirling inside me that my magic didn't know where to direct itself – all I knew was that it wanted to be used, it hungered for me, and I for it.
I didn’t know where to direct it though and it rippled across my skin in bright green wisps that soon arced like lightning.
"Rava?" Lucien's voice was full of concern. I looked at him, my vision blurry, the light incandescent. "Rava." He rushed to my side and gripped my arms. "Stay with me."
His touch was like a balm on my body and I leaned into it, my magic hungry, so hungry. I trembled all over as he pulled me closer. That hunger turned to lust and I lifted my head, claiming his mouth with mine.
The strength of him flooded my body from every point of contact, pushing back the well of magic that had been threatening to overwhelm me. His kiss was wild, passionate, as if he was just as hungry as my magic had been. Like I was the well that would quench his thirst.
I gave myself over to it, savouring the taste of him, the feel of him, wishing like anything that he'd just been a normal guy and not a prince of Hell. The magic was dampened now, tamed by his touch, the thrall it had over me gone.
With a sigh, I broke the kiss. Lucien leaned down, resting his forehead against mine. Our breaths were heavy in the air between us and it would have been so easy to keep kissing him, to take him to my bed and do all the things I wanted to.
But I couldn't. Not until we'd resolved this. I didn’t want to lead him on or make promises that I couldn’t keep.
The truth was that I wanted him, but I also wanted Kyveli, and I wanted Reon to be an important part of my life as well. He was my rock in this place.
"I can't promise to only be yours," I said, bracing myself for his anger.
"I don't think I can cope with that," he said, his voice softer than I expected, vulnerable.
I tilted my head and kissed his cheek. "It doesn't dilute the way I feel about you," I said, swallowing hard. How would this prince deal with an ultimatum? "It's either learn to cope, or lose me."
Lucien emitted a pained groan, but I could feel that he was trying to stay here with me, in this conversation, instead of raging and walking away.
It was progress.
And it was me who moved away, reaching up to cup his face.
