Page 50 of The Christmas Lodge
“I can’t even imagine going through a shift in worldview like that.”
“It’s crazy hard. So many things I thought were one way turned out not to be true. I could’ve had a relationship with them, both of them, Madeline. I could’ve had a dad and a grandpa in my life, and instead I grew up believing I’d been unloved and abandoned. They clearly wanted to be in my life, and they must have wondered why I never wrote back.”
“You can’t blame yourself for that part. You had no idea.”
“I know, but it still hurts to know what we could’ve had and what will never be now. It’s too late.”
Madeline reached out and squeezed Lacy’s hand, her eyes soft. “I’m so sorry.”
“I mean, everything I’ve done in my life—like my career—was to prove that I’mnotlike them. Without that motivating me, what do I have left?”
“You still have a successful career,” Madeline pointed out, taking a bite of a stuffed fig.
“I know, but…” Lacy looked down at her hands, her fingers twisted together in her lap. “I’m not sure it’s what I want anymore.” She snapped her mouth shut, finally looking up at Madeline to gauge her friend’s reaction. She hadn’t even admitted the truth to herself yet, but she’d said the words aloud now and she knew they were true.
“Wow. So what does that mean for you? What do you really want?”
“I’m not sure. I just… I don’t know if I’m happy here. But if I walk away, what do I have left? After all that work, it feels like giving up.”
“I wouldn’t look at it that way.” Madeline took a thoughtful sip of her water. “Changing course doesn’t necessarily mean you’re giving up or that you’ve lost your way. Sometimes it means you’re forging a new path, finding a new dream that actually makes you happy.”
Lacy’s heart eased up at Madeline’s words. She hadn’t expected her career-driven friend to see it that way. “Do you really think so?”
“I really do. Life is too short, as you’re well aware.”
Lacy murmured an agreement. She’d been learning that all too well over the course of that harrowing day.
“So, what now?” Madeline asked again. “I know you’re heartbroken today, but there’s something different about you now. I noticed it as soon as I saw you again. You hold yourself differently and there’s a lightness behind all of the sorrow you’re carrying today. I think Snowy Pine Ridge has been good for you.”
Lacy took a bite of her flatbread, chewing it thoughtfully. “I think you’re right,” she finally admitted. “Being there… I think it’s changed me.”
“And for the better. I think you should pursue that happiness. Pursue whatever put that lightness into your eyes.”
Lacy toyed with her napkin. She knew Madeline was right, and yet… “Madeline, I don’t know if I’m brave enough. I mean, it would be an entire life shift. That’s a big deal.”
“It is, but, Lacy, I think it could be worth it. Youarebrave enough, and I think you know that deep down.” Madeline squeezed Lacy’s hand again. “And don’t ever forget that you’ve got me, cheering you on the whole way no matter what. From near or far, I’ll always support you.”
Lacy scooted her chair closer to Madeline’s and leaned over to give her a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered, fresh tears springing to her eyes.
These tears, though, were tears of gratitude and, she realized, of relief. She knew deep down that Madeline was right and, even deeper down, she already knew exactly what she wanted. Now it was just a matter of being brave enough to take that leap of faith.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Colette stoked the fire in the stone hearth, prodding the glowing logs until they split and sent sparks flying up the chimney. The fire leaped and danced, filling the room with warmth and its cozy crackling sound. Satisfied that the fire would last a while longer, Colette added an extra log just in case and then settled back into her armchair. She and Emma were enjoying the early Saturday afternoon light and munching on Colette’s freshly baked apple cinnamon muffins. It was their custom to enjoy a sweet treat most afternoons around this time, and it was yet another part of their predictable rhythms that brought Colette so much peace of mind.
“Delicious as always, my dear,” Emma commented, reaching for a second muffin. “I don’t always have an appetite these days, but Ialwayshave room for one—or more—of your treats.”
“Why do you think I always bake extra?” Colette teased, smiling at her surrogate mother. “I know these are your favorite.”
“For good reason too. I dare you to find any person in the world who doesn’t love your apple cinnamon muffins.”
“Emma, you’re too sweet,” Colette said lightly, but Emma’s praise never failed to lighten her heart. She picked up a muffin for herself and bit into it. The sweet softness of it melted in her mouth and, if she did say so herself, the muffins really were exceptional. She reached for her glass of milk and took a slow sip, simply enjoying the moment. Colette had nearly finished her muffin when her thoughts returned, as they had so many times since Emma had found the box, back to Lacy. “Emma,” she said, breaking their companionable silence. “Do you think Lacy will come to understand her grandfather once she opens the box? Surely she’ll have to see‘St. Nick’ for who he was the way the rest of us did—the best and most generous of men.”
Emma pursed her lips considering. “I don’t know what’s in the box, but I’m sure it will clarify things. It’s simply a matter of whether or not Lacy will open her heart to the truth.”
“And do you think she will?”
“Dear, I’m sure of it. Lacy seems to have a good heart, and I think no one can fail to see the truth of Nicholas’s true nature.”
