Page 15 of Ship Wrecked

Ian:You wouldn’t DARE

Asha:He definitely would

Asha:And if he didn’t, *I* would, so either be kind or be quiet, Ian

Asha:Welcome, Maria and Peter! I’ll say more later, when I’m back from Ibiza, but I’m delighted you’re part of our group. And I play Psyche, the mortal who’s way too good for Cupid!

Asha:No offense, Alex

Asha:(he plays Cupid)

Alex:Offense! Offense, I say!

Carah:MARIA MOTHERFUCKING IVARSSON

Carah:YOU GORGEOUS SWEDISH BITCH, WELCOME

Carah:PETER “NEVER MET A ROLE I COULDN’T FUCKING SLAY” REEDTON

Carah:WELCOME, YOU TALL GODDAMN DRINK OF VIKING GOODNESS

Carah:I play Dido, the infelix regina herself, who’s also way too fucking good for her boy toy du jour

Marcus:I would dispute that, but we both know it’s true.

Marcus:I play Aeneas, BTW, the boy toy in question.

Alex:ZIP IT, EVERYONE, IT’S MY TURN TO OFFER GRACIOUS GREETINGS

Alex:Just letting you know, Peter, if you end up dethroning me in Fan Thirst’s “Celebrity Beard We Most Want to Ride” poll, REVENGE WILL BE MINE

Alex:And it’ll be a dish served piping hot, because I’m an impatient son of a bitch

Marcus:Dude, you realize he doesn’t know you, and doesn’t know you’re joking, so that could be construed as a serious threat, right?

Alex:Whatever, he’ll eventually learn to appreciate all the glory that is moi

Ian:Don’t count on that, newbies

Ian:After almost two years working together, Jupiter still thinks he’s an asshole

Carah:Ian, don’t you have gross tuna smoothies to make, somewhere way the fuck away from your phone

Ian:Yup, my two-hour tuna timer just went off, Jupiter OUT

Alex:I will never forgive that smelly bastard for ruining poke for me

Alex:Anyway, glad you’re with us, Peter, you’re an amazing actor

Alex:Just work on making that beard a bit less lush and enticing, thanks in advance

Alex:And Maria, I Googled the living hell out of you after we got the announcement, and the casting director scored huge when she found you

Alex:Also, all that body positivity and fat acceptance stuff?

Alex:LOVE IT

Alex:Anything I can do to help, let me know, my vast array of scintillating talents is at your disposal

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