Page 129 of Ship Wrecked

“Wait.” Peter stood, hoisting his bottle of sparkling lemonade high. “One last toast before you eviscerate our absent showrunners, please. To Carah Brown, aptly known as both our caringest and swearingest cast member. The true star ofUnleashed, obviously”—he ignored Alex’s outraged, overly dramatic, entirely feigned gasp—“and the most loyal colleague and friend we could ever have. Here’s to you, you complete fucking bitch.”

Carah took a proud, grinning bow as the rest of them applauded.

“Thanks, Peter. I guess you aren’t a total asshole after all. Only most of one. Like, ninety percent or so.” Carah winked at him, then raised her champagne glass one more time as he reclaimed his spot next to Maria. “As I was saying, here’s to Ron and R.J., wherever they might be.”

“Not on social media or a con panel, I can tell you that much,” Summer murmured.

Carah snickered, then kept going. “After years of critical fawning and various amazing job opportunities, this has been a tough few months for them. They’ve been pulled from directingStar Fightersand cut from other high-profile projects. Eviscerated online for startlingly terrible and slapdash scripts, as well as bizarre, rushed, and/or unsatisfying plotlines and character choices.”

“If people thought the rest of the season was bad...” With a sigh, Marcus ran a hand through his gleaming, perfect hair. “Just wait until everyone sees tonight’s finale. Holy shit.”

“Ron’s been the subject of several recent investigative pieces about misogyny onGates’ set, and I know someone in this room is responsible,” Carah declared. “I just want to say, whoever you are: I fuckingloveyou. I would offer to have your babies in gratitude for your exemplary service to humanity, but I don’t want any. My ovaries are more like no-varies.”

Surreptitiously, Alex turned his head slightly on Lauren’s lap. Just far enough to catch Peter’s eye and exchange the most infinitesimal of nods.

Yeah. It could be said that Alex still held a very deep, very well-founded, very rage-filled grudge when it came to Ron’s behavior toward Lauren. Peter was pretty certain his friend would take that grudge to his goddamn grave, in the same way Peter was pretty certain gravity would continue to exist.

It could also be said that Peter had provided Alex a safe way toindulge that grudge. And that Peter had drawn on his own hidden complement of rage to exact justifiable vengeance.

If the showrunners hadn’t shaken Maria’s confidence, hadn’t broken her spirit or harmed her body or made her question her own worth and beauty, it wasn’t due to lack of effort on their parts.

They’d tried to take advantage of her. Tried to break her.

Tried and failed.

Maria had her vulnerabilities, as he well knew, but Ron and R.J. had never managed to locate them, thank fuck. She also knew how to protect herself and her interests, and she’d done so capably, with very little help from Peter.

But he wasn’t the same man anymore, and he’d happily assume some risk to avenge the woman he adored. So, yeah, he’d used his contacts to give anonymous interviews a few weeks back. Shared damning memos and emails. Discreetly recruited Alex’s assistance, because Alex still wanted payback and always would. He’d burn down the world for Lauren, even if Lauren didn’t want him to.

Peter got that now, in a way he hadn’t even a few months before.

Carah was still speaking, because the list of misfortunes visited upon the showrunners in recent months was long and varied and uniformly delightful.

“—my absolute favorite part,” she was saying, her entire face alight with glee. “Let us not forget—let usneverforget—how Ron and R.J. traveled to Maria and Peter’s island to shoot footage for a bonus feature, and then decided to pay a visit to Dolphy McBlowholeface, despite all the locals’ warnings. And how they tried to ride her, because they’re assholes, and she immediately smacked the shit out of both of them and broke Ron’s nose and gave R.J. a black eye. And how it was all caught on film by said locals, who promptly posted the video online, where it will live forever and ever, a-fucking-men.”

For a minute, they all silently reminisced about that golden moment in their lives, exchanging nostalgic, satisfied smiles as they mentally revisited all the hilarious Twitter memes.

He and Maria had spent countless hours huddled on the couch that day, scrolling and chortling. “I always knew Dolphy was my life coach for a reason,” she’d told him.

“According to Whiskers, that was the best day of his entire life,” Mackenzie said now, a serene smile on her lovely face. “Even better than when he got that kitty massage and pedicure.”

“Next year, we should celebrate Dolphin-Smacking Day together,” Alex said lazily. “Or if we’re all too busy exchanging presents and cooking a feast, we can always schedule something for Dolphin-Smacking Eve instead.”

Asha made a note in her phone’s calendar.

“Here’s to Ron and R.J.” Carah raised her glass one final time. “You’ve been fucking around for a long time now, assholes. Welcome to thefind outportion of your career.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Summer said, rising from her chair and linking her free arm through Carah’s. “Gladly.”

Obligingly, Peter rose too, and they all clinked bottles and glasses while enjoying the delicious schadenfreude.

Then the big moment finally arrived.

“It’s about to start!” Carah cried, and rushed for Alex’s remote.

Peter settled back, ready for the carnage to begin.

Not ready enough, as it turned out.

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