Page 30 of Seven Swans a Swimming

It was, after all, most unseemly for a lady to do such a thing. It was not expected for a lady to wish to kiss a gentleman quite so passionately…

It was simply not done.

That did not seem to matter. Nathaniel reacted instantly, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss, holding her tight against him, so tight, Arabella was not sure how they were managing to breathe.

This kiss continued far longer than their first. Arabella breathed him in, the warmth of the barn, the heady knowledge that Nathaniel had no mistress on the grounds that he was secretly meeting, allowed her to give more of herself than she ever had before.

Untamed, unrestrained, when the kiss finally ended, Arabella felt a little shaky on her feet.

“Well,” said Nathaniel in a jagged voice. “That, I was not expecting.”

Heat tinged Arabella’s cheeks as she looked down at her feet. Of course, he had not.

A finger tilted her chin up so that she was looking into his face. Nathaniel was smiling wryly.

“I think if I had known there was such desire within you, Arabella Fitzroy,” said Nathaniel quietly, “I would not have taken such a long time to be vulnerable before you.”

Arabella smiled a little bashfully. “I have never— I have never done this with any other gentleman.”

“I did not think that,” he reassured her quietly.

“So, you must tell me if—if I…well, if I can do better.”

Arabella felt the shame of her words across her cheeks, but she wanted to be honest with him. He was her first, the only man she had ever kissed.

It was natural, of course, that he would compare her to others he had kissed and find her in some areas wanting—but she was willing to learn, willing to be taught.

But as Arabella continued to gaze into Nathaniel’s eyes, happy and warm in his arms, something about the way he was not quite meeting her gaze any longer made her hesitate. What…what was wrong? Why was he no longer willing to look at her?

“Nathaniel?” she said softly. “What is it?”

He laughed and shook his head. “I do not know how you have managed to get this idea in your head, Arabella—perhaps this mistress idea that you concocted has gone deeper into your mind than you had thought, but…”

Arabella’s heart skipped a beat painfully. He was about to tell her something, something Nathaniel had kept from her until now, and it had something to do with a mistress. What was it? Did she not kiss as well as this woman? Was he disappointed in the way she shared her affection?

“What is it?” Arabella whispered. “You can tell me, Nathaniel. I promise.”

Nathaniel sighed heavily as he tightened his grip around her waist. “You imagine me to be far more…more experienced than I actually am. That is all.”

Arabella stared. He could not mean—surely Nathaniel could not be saying what she thought he meant?

They both chuckled as understanding dawned, and Arabella could not help but be amazed. Well, here she had been worried about disappointing the great and experienced Lord Nathaniel Cartier, when in fact…

“Nathaniel Cartier,” she said in mock severity as Arabella pressed her palms against his chest, feeling his heart pattering under her fingertips, “are you telling me that…that I am your first kiss?”

“And well worth the wait, I can assure you,” Nathaniel said in that low, teasing voice she adored so much. “I knew I was engaged to be married to you, Miss Arabella Fitzroy, and I knew that unless something drastic happened, such as our parents changing their minds—”

“Not very likely,” Arabella agreed.

“—that you would be my wife one day,” Nathaniel continued. “I did not wish to sully our future together by taking short term pleasure with another. I…I believed you would be worth the wait.”

Arabella could not believe what she was hearing, but there was only the sound of truth in his voice.

He had kept himself for her. Despite surely many temptations and opportunities to lose his innocence, to take pleasure with another, he had not. He had waited.

Nathaniel glanced over her shoulder, and Arabella turned to see what he was looking at. The swan had fallen asleep, its head tucked under its wing. It was the most lovely creature Arabella had ever seen.

“We are like the swans,” said Nathaniel quietly. “Two people destined to be together, but far away from each other for so long. Just because one’s mate is far away, that does not mean you betray them for another. You wait. As I have waited for you.”

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