Page 31 of Till Death Do Us Part

I needed to focus, though. Concentrate on driving only. I was getting closer to the shopping center not far from Babbo’s house where I met Felice every morning and where he dropped me every evening.

If anxiety had a scent, everyone around me could’ve smelled it. It was coming out of my pores, but I wasn’t getting rid of it. It seemed to skyrocket when I spotted his car in the parking lot.

Before I even pulled in, he stepped out of his car and held a spot for me. After I took it, he opened the door of my Fiat and took the passenger seat. He engulfed the small space with his physical size and the scent of his cologne. Cold air clung to him, making it smell even stronger. He was dressed in his usual uniform of all black.

God help me, he was heartbreakingly beautiful.

My hands squeezed the wheel, and I took off too fast. I didn’t even bother to look at his reaction. I just knew I had to concentrate on keeping it together, to make it to work without any incidents that would cause horns to blare at me. Being next to Felice made the impossible situation entirely too real. And no one could help me fix this. Because there was no solution. I was going to lose someone.

I felt totally alone in the world.

Felice reached out and took my hand, holding it in his.

Whatever music had been playing in the background hadn’t even registered until he leaned forward and changed it. He’d told me after the Farmer’s Market that the faster the music, the faster I seemed to drive, and the more reckless I became. He’d been playing softer and slower Italian music on our rides. That was what he’d changed it to.

It was a duet with an Italian tenor and an Italian coloratura mezzo-soprano.

Like him, it was heartbreakingly beautiful and somewhat haunting.

I went to switch lanes and stole a glance at the profile of his face. He was staring out of the window, and my heart took off like a wild creature heading to freedom.

He must have felt my eyes on him.

He met my stare and set the wheel back in place. I’d started drifting into the next lane. It seemed like it was only the two of us in the world. Then the invasive sounds of horns shattered my peace, and I snapped my attention back to the road.

The lyrics of the song stuck with me, whether he intended them to or not, and when I arrived at the museum, I rushed to get away from him. He caught me by the arm and started to haul me toward the car Celso had followed us in. It was dark with even darker windows.

“Let me go, Felice!” I tried to snatch my arm out of his hold, but he held tight. I knew I was disguising my true feelings with anger, but I didn’t know how to handle this. I dug my feet in a little harder, moving my upper body wildly, and he stopped walking, but he didn’t let me go.

We faced off in the parking lot.

“Have a nice time with Jack this weekend?”

“You knew,” I breathed out, but it was more accusatory. “You knew he was the guy Babbo chose for me.”

“Yeah. I knew Jack was the boy.”

“You didn’t tell me!”

“Would it have changed anything?”

“Yes! No! I don’t know!” I started to lose it. This felt like death to me in so many ways.

It didn’t seem like he knew what to do with me. He was at a total loss, if the cornered look in his eyes meant anything. Before I could fight, he lifted me off my feet and brought me to his car. He ordered Celso to take a walk and grab some coffee.

Felice took the back seat, setting me in his lap and holding me, like he’d be my armor against the world.

Shield or not, this felt like goodbye to me. I couldn’t win this one. I had to let him go and it was ripping me apart.

After I calmed down, I looked up at him. He stared down at me.

Both of us moved toward each other.

Our lips met.

It felt like we’d crashed into each other, and when we did, the line where he began and I ended became nonexistent.

His tongue explored my mouth. I was hesitant at first, but the more he teased me with his, the more I wanted it.

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