Page 21 of Ruthless Consequences

Why does he care that I eat? He doesn’t even know me.

My eyes fall on him.

A kaleidoscope of butterflies flitter in and out of the sick feeling, sending my heart into…a panic attack? Maybe that’s what this is? My chest feels hollow, like I can’t catch my breath. I hope I don’t pass out and my face lands in a plate full of food.

That would be totally embarrassing. Right up there with this moment. All this food is in front of me, but I’m struggling to touch it.

I’m fighting to keep my eyes off him. I can’t decide if that’s because he’s so fine, or if there’s something else going on.

Earlier, after I’d finished singing, the way he was looking at me…

To hide the confusion I’m sure is showing on my face, I pick at some kind of casserole, moving it around on my plate.

“No playing with your food!”

My eyes snap up. The woman who I only know as Carine’s mom is staring at me. She’s waiting for me to eat. Oh God, I wish my shirt had a collar so I could burrow inside of it like a turtle. My eyes flicker to Lilo, who is eating, a grin on his face. A shit-eating one.

I take a deep breath, release it in small bursts, then bring the fork up to my mouth. I almost want to close my eyes. If I eat this, my stomach will revolt. It hurts. Everything hurts. I do it, though, because her small dark eyes are a little scary.

A small taste. Another.

“Good,” the old woman says, going back to her meal. “That is how we respect people who do not have food to eat.”

Maybe I nod. Maybe not. I’m too busy trying little bites of this and of that.

“You don’t have to eat it all, my girl,” Carine says, smiling at me. “We’ll save the rest for tomorrow. Lilo always kills leftovers.”

Michele grunts, digging into his food. Lilo glances at him but goes back to eating.

We’re all eating now, and I feel better. Like we’re just a family enjoying dinner. My stomach is still tight, but with each new piece of food, the chokehold around my throat is loosening. Carine brings up the bakery. About needing help. Michele says the guy I met earlier, Sebastiano, applied for the opening. He hired him.

A loud ringing, like a plate being hit, makes me turn and look. Carine does too. Lilo. He stabbed something on his plate so hard, it sounded like it cracked. I look at Michele, but he’s busy with his food. Either he didn’t notice, or he doesn’t care.

That’s when I feel it. A tension that stretches from father to son from across the table. I don’t have long to dwell on it because Michele asks me a question.

“No,” I answer him, shaking my head. “I don’t have a job.”

Carine smiles. “Would you like one?”

“At the bakery?”

“Yes! I think it’s a great idea. If you’re interested, we can make it work. We can keep you busy here, between our music sessions and learning the ropes of the business. Then, before you know it, you’ll graduate and do something great with your life. You have so much potential.”

Michele nods. He seems to agree. But I look between him and Lilo again. I’m missing something, because whatever it is, they’re not hiding it. I’m at the center of it, though. They’re both waiting for me to say something. It’s almost like they’re waiting to see what team I pick—his or theirs.

“Ah…” I pick up my glass and take a sip. “I’ll talk to—Sonny. My dad.” I say that because when I said his name, Lilo narrowed his eyes at me.

Carine and Michele both nod. But I know Carine does it out of politeness, or maybe something else. She knows the deal with Sonny. I’m sure Molly has told her something. Or else Carine wouldn’t have agreed to “help” me. She only takes “troubled kids.” That label doesn’t sit right with me, though. Okay. I have an issue with food, but I do eat. Even if only chocolate.

What’s so troubled about that? I’m pretty sure I’ll outgrow it. I just need time to fix whatever’s eating me up inside. The source of that has left, so…there’s really nothing left to do but try to deal with it.

I feel it when the tension leaves Lilo. I don’t know how, but I do. Maybe because it seems to leave me too. My answer—pleased him? I feel his eyes on my face as I eat. That seems to please him too. I look up from my plate because I need to see him. I can’t seem to control it.

“Enough?” he asks when our eyes meet.

“Ah.” I wipe my chin and smile a little. I take the last piece of bread on the first plate. It’s the best bread I’ve ever had. I kind of remember eating it before, but not since…she left. I put it back. “Yeah. Thank you. Everything was so good. That’s the best bread I’ve ever had. But I’m so full now, I might explode.”

Carine laughs. Her mom says something about saving it for Lilo, since he made it. Michele looks at me, like he’s studying me now.

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