Page 60 of Regressive

“I’m scared of needles,” she whispers, assuming the mark is a tattoo.

“Face that fear. Own it.”

She nods and adds, “Thank you.”

Margaret lays a square of paper on the flesh below her hip and dabs a cloth on top. When she pulls the paper back, the symbol is there. A sideways ‘W’ with a small slash over the left side. It’s elegant with thin lines. My fears dissipate, knowing I’ll be carrying something with such meaning on my person.

Kayla watches as Healer Bloom holds up the wand, the metal tip, shining in the overhead light. Holding it like a pencil, she lowers it to the template and presses down.

I expect a buzz, the sound of needles inking the skin, but the room fills with Kayla’s screams. In the chaos, Margaret is louder.

“Hold her down! Hold her down! Don’t let her move! It’s for the greater good! It’s the pain that leads to empowerment!”

My eyes flick to the woman across from me. Her name is Dorothy. I don’t know her well other than she’s a few years older than me and works at the farm. Her eyes well with tears but she never falters, holding onto Kayla’s arm with all her strength.

I look down at the woman I know Silas’ recruited into the community. She chose to be here, to leave her family and join this way of life. It’s harder, I think, than growing up in Serendee. But now as she fights to sit up our eyes meet, hers are pleading. Filled with betrayal.

A fleeting thought runs through my head.

What would my mother do?

As if reading my mind, Margaret shouts, “If you allow your sister to fail, you all fail.” Her eyes meet mine. “You don’t want to fail. I can promise you that.”

In the heat of the room, the sweat and panic, naked and fearful, I look down at Kayla and say, “I’m sorry,” and tighten my grip. Someone shoves a strap in her mouth, her teeth bearing down on the leather. A moment later the room is filled with the scent of burning flesh.

Kayla never stops looking at me and I see the hate. It’s deep in the green of her eyes, or maybe it’s just my reflection. Either one I know I’m no one’s sister.

I’m just a sheep.

The sun risesto the east on our return home. The ceremony took hours, and after the screams the quiet of the streets only amplifies the numb sensation overtaking my brain and body. The only exception is my lower hip, where the pain is searing. God, it hurts. Deep and painful, like they branded me all the way to the bone.

“I know that was a lot,” Margaret says, keeping close. We were each escorted out of the mansion, sweaty and exhausted. She rests a hand on her belly, as if she’s comforting the fetus inside. “But doesn’t it feel amazing now?”

I want to tell her it hurts like hell, and not in the good way. I feel sick. Confused. Betrayed. I’m no innocent to pain, but this… it was otherworldly. No one screamed after Kayla. They didn’t have the opportunity. Healer Bloom made sure the strap was placed in all our mouths before she started.

I still taste the leather on my tongue, the burnt skin in my nostrils, Kayla’s screams in my ears.

“Imogene?” she prompts, forcing me to a stop.

My house is a few feet away. Lights blazing in the windows. They’ll be waiting for me. I know it and I have no idea what I’m going to say about what’s been done to me. What I allowed to be done.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “Just tired. Like you said, it was overwhelming.”

“You’re special,” Margaret says, pulling me into a hug. I fight a hiss when her lower body brushes against the wound on my hip. “More than the other women. You were chosen for a reason, don’t forget that.”

A month ago, those words would have given me a sense of validation, but now, I can’t escape the uneasiness coursing through my veins. I give her a tight smile, hoping it comes off as exhaustion and tell her goodnight.

I step into the house, into the bright light of the foyer. I’m not surprised when Levi meets me there a moment later. “Where have you been?” he asks, rubbing at the heavy bags under his eyes. It’s obvious he hasn’t slept.

“A meeting,” is all I get out before he strides toward me, grabbing my hand and pushing up my sleeve. A dark bruise mottles the skin from where I’d been restrained.

“What kind of meeting?” His voice is low. Dangerous. “Who did this to you?”

I don’t get the chance to answer before the door opens and heavy footsteps enter the house. Levi’s eyes dart over my shoulder and I turn. Rex, Elon and Silas appear, looking as worn out as I feel.

“What’s going on?” Silas asks, taking us in.

“I just got home. There was a…” I search for an excuse but simply say. “I met some of the other women.” I swallow. “Margaret invited me.”

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