Page 44 of Regressive

But the woman sitting on the bed, hands fisted in her flimsy skirt, tugs at something deep in my chest. “I haven’t told Rex yet. I’ve barely seen him, but today I had the information on me at the Center and Anex called me in.” Her voice wobbles. “He could have caught me, Levi. Then what?”

“He didn’t,” I say, terrified for her. If he’d found that information on her. Christ. She’d be with the Fallen right now. Or worse. Banished. “He didn’t, that’s all that matters.”

“There’s more,” she adds. “He offered me cannabis. I took it. I had no choice.”

“It’s not against the rules of Serendee to smoke—especially with the leader.”

Her eyes drop. “He was familiar with me. He touched me—”

“Where?” My tone is sharp. Harsh.

“Nothing inappropriate.” She glances up, eyes wary. “Not really. It felt inappropriate. IknowRex would be angry.”

I take a deep breath. She’s right. Anex’s interest in Imogene has surpassed appropriateness. But what is considered appropriate where he’s concerned. He establishes the rules—the boundaries. I reach out and touch her cheek and hear myself say, “It’s okay, Imogene. It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not,” she says, through a quiet, shuddering sob. “Asking Elon to take me there, looking it up on the computer, reading all the blasphemous, Regressive thoughts my mother is spewing. Maybe I do need to be Re-Educated.” She looks up at me, eyes shining. “Maybe I should be with the Fallen.”

Maybe she should.

No.No.That’s years of conditioning saying that. Not The Way.

“She called Serendee a cult,” she continues, the words are barely a whisper. More breath than voice. “Please, Levi. I’m trying to be a good mate to Rex and give him what he needs, but it’s tearing me apart.” She presses against me, her the fullness of her breast against my arm. “Please help me become whole again. Show me The Way. Help me seek Enlightenment.”

If I give her what she wants, then we can both be saved. Her from her Lapses and me from having the knowledge. But every time Imogene comes to me like this, my motives become convoluted. Slippery like sand. My brain doesn’t rule my decisions, but the hard, throbbing want in between my legs. Imogene isn’t the only one drowning, being pulled between what’s Right and what Feels Good.

But that’s not all. Anger courses through me. Hot and dangerous. How could Rex put her in this position. Put Elon and then me? What the hell is he thinking?

And Anex… would he dare covet his son’s mate? Would he cross that line by getting her high and loose? The answer rises faster than I want to admit.Yes.Yes, he would.

Rage born of confusion and conflict flickers and my fists tighten. It would be so easy to take this out on another—on Imogene. I could tear her skin apart, use her to quell the storm building in my soul.

So easy to hurt her.

So easy to ruin her.

Her fingers touch my chin and force my eyes to hers. “Levi?”

“I won’t.”

“Won’t what?”

“Can’t.” My limbs tremble. “This is how he destroys us. It’s how he pits us against one another and allows evil to worm further under our skin.”

“Who are you talking about.”

I stare at her, unable to say his name, fearful of being struck down by some greater force, but I see the understanding flicker in her eyes. She knows. Anex.

“He’s the one that wants me to… Correct you like this. The escalation. The strap. He wants you fearful and weak.” I swallow. “It’s why he invited you into his office today. He doesn’t know about the information. If he did, the recourse would be swift and public. He wouldn’t play games.” I shift on the mattress, getting closer to her. “He may suspect something, but he was fishing.”

“Are you sure?”

No. “Yes.”

“That doesn’t take away everything else,” she says, although she looks relieved. “The need for Correction. It’s The Way and despite everything, I still believe.”

I shake my head. There’s a part of me that wonders if this isn’t part of Anex’s plan. To make her uncomfortable. To have her Lapse, and then come to me to start this cycle over again. It sucks us both in, keeps us both complicit, hungry. Horny.

“I’m worried we’re going too far—that Anex wants us to go too far. Everyone logs in their journals. Confesses and shows some penance, but where this has gone…” I swallow. “It’s eating away at me. Inside and out.”

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