Page 12 of Regressive

“Your role is always the same, son,” Anex gives him a stern look. “Protect Serendee and the leadership inside. These women will be required to provide collateral. I need you to collect and assess the threat of their confessions.”

Elon and Anex hold one another’s eyes for a long beat, and although my friend nods in agreement, assuring Anex that he will do what is needed of him, I get the distinct feeling these two are no longer on the same side. I’m not sure any of us are, things have shifted so dramatically lately, but to protect our lives—and Imogene’s—we have no choice but to submit to our leader’s commands.

“What about Rex?” Elon asks. “Does he know about this group?”

He leans back in his seat, expression grave. “In order for the females to fully immerse themselves in this movement, mates will not know that their partners are participating. The women will be told specifically to keep their involvement a secret. Rex can’t know that it is anything beyond a standard support group. You three, outside of myself, are the only men aware that this group exists.”

Another secret, like the one where he asked us to train Imogene for Rex. That didn’t go over well. He’d lashed out at her and threatened to leave. We’d barely been able to keep him from going. I busy myself with my tea, not wanting to look at Anex or the others. There is no way this ends in anything other than hurt and betrayal.

Which, I think, may be exactly what Anex wants.

7

Imogene

The oak treestands by the edge of the forest, on a hill that allows for a magnificent view of Serendee. It’s a significant marker in the community—the place where Anex realized the potential of the space. He stopped at this tree and declared the land the perfect spot to build his vision of utopia. My mother was there that day, notebook in hand, jotting down details for what would later become the blueprint for designing our self-sustaining home.

Now, as I approach the tree, I wonder what she would think about me being Bonded to Rex and joining this secret women’s group—being a part of the Chosen. As much as I’d like to think she’d be happy for me, that I’d overcome the dark legacy she’d left me with, I know that isn’t true. She would be horrified to know I’m tied to Anex—the man who was forced to banish her from her home and family.

There’s a basket under the tree and a stack of white handkerchiefs. Attached is a note that says, “Cover your eyes and wait.”

I look around, wondering if anyone is watching, but, other than the sound of nature, it’s quiet. Carefully, I fold the bandanna and wrap it around my eyes, tying at the back of my head. I lean my backside against the tree and wait. I have no concept how long I wait, but eventually the snap of a stick alerts me that someone is nearby.

“Are you ready to start your journey?” the female voice asks.

“Yes.” I’m both nervous and excited as I try to orient myself to her voice. A strong hand clasps around my wrist and leads me off the path. Even blindfolded, I can tell we’ve entered the forest. My skirt drags against the low growing shrubs, and my escort quietly guides me over roots and rough terrain.

“Can you tell me where we’re going?” I ask once we’re deep in the woods.

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

Sweat beads on my back by the time she slows, the hike leveling out and into a field. I smell the smoke before I hear movement—the shuffling and squish of soft dirt underfoot—and feel the warm heat and crackle of a fire. When the blindfold is removed, I blink, taking in the scene.

There are five others like me, all positioned around a large fire pit dug into the soft dirt. I recognize a few of them. Most are older than I am, their mates in the higher rungs of Anex’s circle. Although, one woman catches my eye—she’s someone Silas has recruited. Kayla is her name. I’ve seen her name in the files at The Center. Her family is wealthy, and she came here seeking something more than her family’s power. I’m surprised to see a recruit here, but it’s not my place to question, and I focus on the other women, the ones draped in green robes, their faces obscured by a large, draping hood.

“Welcome kindred souls, we’re honored you’ve come to join us in our quest of empowerment,” Margaret’s voice rings out from the cluster of robed women. “What you’re about to experience will tap into Anex’s wise lesson and help you become a fuller, more Integrated being.”

The sun drops behind the trees, dropping the temperature. One of the other robed women steps forward and commands us to undress.

Having grown up in the Domum, I’m accustomed to disrobing in front of other females. I quickly unfasten the buttons on my dress and allow it to drop over my narrow shoulders and waist. The only self-consciousness that I feel is from the weight gain over the last few weeks. Rex wants a woman with curvier hips and plumper breasts. I’ve been allotted more food than normal, but I hope the other women don’t notice my Indulgence.

A cool breeze rustles in the trees, pushing past the heat of the fire.

“You’re laid bare,” Margaret says, “as a sign of rebirth. Coming into this group the same way you came into this world, naked, innocent, unbiased—but most of all vulnerable. Females do not like to be vulnerable, to show the weakness that lies in the essence of our being. This group is here to show you that embracing these traits makes you stronger.”

She walks around the circle, assessing each of us as she goes. There’s a firm kindness in her expression, a knowledge that I crave to possess. This isn’t a woman that allows her insecurities to rule her life. She accepts who she is.

“Like a babe fresh from the womb, you will start at the bottom. Latched to the breast of another, wiser woman who will guide you through this journey. When you ascend again, you will not be the same person you are today. You’re getting a second chance to grow into a fully Integrated female, attuned to The Way.”

Her words inspire a surge of giddiness through me. Who doesn’t want a chance to start over, to be absolved of your sins and embrace The Way? Through this emotion I try to absorb everything Margaret says: we will report to a “Main,” who will guide us in our journey. She’ll push us to our limits; exploring everything from pain to shocking self-awareness. Our renewal will be affirmed with a “birthmark,” pressed into our skin as a symbol of starting new. We will be required to submit Collateral, because joining this group is an honor, a gift, and we must sacrifice something of our own in order to embrace what’s being given. And at the end, when we are already to ascend into a fully formed, new being, The Way will test us, physically and emotionally, to confirm that we are worthy.

The leaders fan out, approaching each of us with a white robe. Margaret steps behind me, draping the robe over my shoulders.

“Put this on,” Margaret says, in my ear but also loud enough for everyone to hear. “Feel the swaddling of the soft cotton, as if you’re being wrapped for the first time.” Her hands are gentle, but firm and I relax, truly feeling the gravity of the moment. “Thank Anex for allowing us this opportunity to be better.”

As a group, we verbally thank our leader for his wisdom.

“One last thing,” she says, going back to stand in front of the fire with the others. “This is a group for women, by women, you may not tell anyone outside of the group about what happens here. Not your Mate, not your family. This is a private journey that you must take alone. Your support comes from your Main.” She holds up her hands. “Come, clasp hands and join me around the fire.”

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