Page 31 of Regressive

16

Imogene

I stareat the dinner on the table… baked chicken, roasted vegetables, fresh from the Serendee garden, and mashed potatoes. A bowl of fruit and a homemade pie sit on the counter. All of it is cold now , having come out of the oven hours ago.

I look at my watch. Eleven PM.

Not one of them told me they wouldn’t be here. And one in particular promised he’d come home at night. I guess that lasted all of two days.

I didn’t just cook. I changed after work into one of the outfits Elon picked out for me, trying to be obedient to my mate’s desires when he got home.

I’mtrying,but I don’t see how this works if he doesn’t hold up to his end of the deal.

Twenty more minutes go by when I hear the front door open. Levi steps in eyes darting from the table full of food to me, sitting alone.

“Hey,” he says, shrugging off his coat. “This looks amazing.”

“It’s cold,” I announce. “I thought you’d all be home hours ago.”

“Oh.” He frowns and pushes his fiery red hair out of his eyes. “I had a late class at the Center, and Elon got called in to make a delivery.” He picks a blueberry out of the bowl. “Silas went with him.”

My jaw tightens and I will myself not to ask, “And Rex?” but it comes out anyway, bitter and harsh.

“I, uh,” his hand swipes through his hair again, “I think he had some business to attend to on campus.”

My eyebrow raises. “Business?”

“At the fraternity house,” he admits. “It’s good for him to be seen while his product is in use and, well, a good place to recruit.”

“Women.”

“Mostly, yes.” His head tilts. “Are you questioning his service to Serendee?”

I snort. “He’s at a party, Levi, not conducting a business meeting, and I’m aware of how Rex ‘recruits’ women. Will he sweet talk them back? Who does he hand them over to next? You or Silas?”

His forehead creases and he crosses over to me. “What’s this about?”

Shame fills me. I’m being Indulgent, thinking only of myself and my desires. I drop my eyes from Levi’s gaze. “Nothing. I just went to all this trouble to make dinner, and it would be nice if someone had told me none of you were going to be here.”

“Well, I’m here now.” He takes my hand and kisses the back of it. “Let me go shower and clean up. Then we can eat together.”

I give him a tight smile and hold it until he’s in his room, door shut behind him. All I can think of is Rex being at a party. Surrounded by secular women. I’ve witnessed this before, the way they hang on him in their tight clothes. He’s handsome. Charismatic. He is his father’s son after all.

Knowing he’s out there, with them, creates a twist in my belly that is unfamiliar. An urge to find him and force him home. I stare at the food on the table and make a split moment decision.

I leave.

I can hear the sound of the shower running as I slip through the dark streets. I stick to the shadows, knowing that if I’m caught out late like this, alone, there will be consequences. Most of the other houses are dark. It’s late. People work early and have long days. You never know when Anex will send out the signal and call us all to a lecture. The awareness of these facts only makes me angrier and more upset that Rex has pushed me to this point.

My hands tremble as I push open the gate, stepping over the line that divides Serendee from the Secular world, leaving the quiet behind. The world seems loud when I go outside the walls. Noisy and disruptive. There are so many people. So many eyes and cars and glowing devices. Sometimes the people barely notice me—so focused on their phones. But when they do it’s like a wolf stumbling upon a single lamb… “Little Lamb,” they call me. I understand it when I’m out here.

Tonight though, no one takes much notice. Not when I pass the bar or the late-night café. I realize it’s because of my outfit. Jeans and a fitted shirt. A girl stares at me, and I realize it’s the braid. I tug it out as I walk, letting it fall over my shoulders in waves.

I head toward campus, walking quickly past The Center on the way. I know where the fraternity row is located and I turn down the path that leads toward the street made of big blocky houses. These buildings make sense to me. A group of young people all sharing a home? A domum? I’ve lived this life—just in another world.

The party isn’t hard to find. I just follow the people walking down the street. I watch them. Study the way the girls’ hips move so easily, how the boys touch them without care. It’s like the TV shows Silas had me watch. There’s so much freedom here, while also, tension and stress.

I reach the house—three stories, red brick with columns. Greek letters hang over the door, Zeta Sigma. I’m shocked they don’t fall off from the vibration of the music inside. From the sidewalk, I can feel it bouncing in my chest. People cluster on the porch. Men, women, dressed in a variety of ways. All clutching red cups in their grip.

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