Page 10 of Regressive

I try to turn and face him, to tell him that he’s lost his mind or maybe it’s just another trick—a trap, but he’s already asleep, eyes shut, lips slightly parted. His arm tightens around me, trapping me against his warm heat. I sigh and give up, my eyes returning to the spider, the only witness to what Rex is proposing. I thought when he claimed me at the ceremony that maybe things would make more sense. Now, I realize that I never left the web. If anything, it just grows bigger, stickier, and the more I struggle, the harder it is to escape.

When I wakeup the second time, it’s lights out and I’m alone.

I don’t know when Rex left or if he’ll even remember coming in here. What I do know is that everything that he said last night confused me even more. He wants to share me with his friends, not just so they’ll train me, but because he knows his father won’t give them mates of their own.

He was drunk and despite what he said,morethan a little high. If anything, it was a test of loyalty, to see if I’ll betray him like my mother betrayed Serendee. What man would willingly share his wife with three other men?

I climb out of bed and go to the closet, pulling out a dress for work, ignoring the swirl of emotions which just thinking about intensifies. I skip breakfast, feeling the need to withhold. Everything in my life has been consumed with Indulgence lately. Sex. Clothing. Food. I take a minute to reflect in my journal, horrified at how I let things slip lately. I can’t let Rex derail my path to Enlightenment.

The Center is busy, thankfully, with a steady stream of new students coming in for classes. It allows me to focus on something other than myself. I see Levi once or twice. He has back-to-back sessions, instructing new recruits—most from the University. We don’t speak, but the last time I was with him, Silas was burying himself inside of me while Levi held me in his arms. My cheeks burn when I think of the way he came against my back, breath ragged and warm.

After his class leaves, I pass him in the hallway. “Can we talk?”

His jaw tenses. “I have another class coming in, and I need to prepare.”

“Right. I just…” I look over my shoulder to make sure we’re alone. “I would like to schedule some time with you. Privately.”

His eyebrow raises. “For Correction?”

I nod.

“Is this about the other night? Things got out of hand. I never should have—”

“It’s not that.” I pause, recalling our night together with Silas in the tent. Levi held me while Silas showed me what making love was really all about, instead of the harsh brutality Rex had shown me. “Well, not specifically. It’s just everything going on over the weekend, the Bonding ceremony, and our new living situation, I feel very off balance.”

“I’m not sure we should continue meeting now that you are Bonded.”

Panic flares in my chest. Sheer, unbridled anxiety. I reach out and grab him by the arm. “Levi, I need this. I need something normal in my life.” His expression doesn’t change. “Rex told me last night he’s okay with me continuing my training with each of you.”

“He’s expressed the same to us, but,” his forehead furrows, “I’m not sure that means he’s okay with me being your Guide? You know how he feels about Anex’s procedures.”

“I know that Rex doesn’t believe in The Way. Not like you do. I know that you and I are caught between two warring men. Father and Son.” My words are a whisper—inappropriate to be said aloud. Levi nods in understanding. “I’ve agreed to balance both and I need your Guidance to do that.”

His hesitation is brief. As it should be. Rex may be his best friend, but he is loyal to our beliefs.

“Okay. We can schedule something,” he looks at his watch, “but not today. Tomorrow?”

Relief rushes through me. “Yes, thank you.”

His smile is tight. “You’re welcome, Imogene.”

I watch Levi walk away, thinking that if Rex thinks this man likes me he is very confused. I’m pretty sure I am nothing but an albatross around all of their necks. A naïve, little lamb that needs constant education and attention. I’m sure they have much better things to do with their time.

When I get back to my desk, an envelope is propped up against the phone with my name on it. The lobby is empty, but someone must have come in while I was in the back. I open it and see a typed invitation.

The time has come.

For you to embrace your Enlightenment.

If you’re ready, wait by the oak tree at dusk.

Prepare for the future.

Instantly,I know this is the invitation to the women’s group Margaret, one of Anex’s spiritual wives, told me about. A smile spreads across my face. I’d wondered, after so much uncertainty with Rex, if I would still be considered. But here it is. These women want me to be part of their group. Hell yes, I’m ready.

6

Silas

---