Page 11 of A Manny for Christmas

There are few things more irritating than being knowingly served up a helping of reverse psychology and finding yourself compelled to put the server of said bullshit in his place. I treat Angus to my most contemptuous eye-roll.

‘Jesus Christ. I’m thirty-nine. I think I can abstain from acting on my baser instincts for the good of everyone involved, even if I was attracted to her, which I won’t be. Single mums have never been my thing.’

For obvious reasons.

Reasons known asgrimy little offspring.

I prowl back to the sofa and sit heavily, my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands, one foot tapping out an agitated morse code forhelp mewhile I clutch at my hair like it holds all the answers.

What would this look like? Could I really shack up with the woman I once thought was The One, look after her kids, and avoid a total shit-show?

Oh, and actually keep said kids alive on my watch? Presumably the survival of her children would be a key indicator of my success in Molly’s eyes.

‘You’re overthinking this,’ my smug arse of a brother offers. ‘You sleep there, you deal with the kids first thing, you get out of the house the rest of the time. There’s tonnes to do here on the farm, and my team has a pretty active social life. You’ll find a good gang of blokes to keep you busy. Molly goes to bed early and gets up early. You’ll be like ships in the night.’

I raise my head to look at him, and he must read my exhausted resignation as outright capitulation, because he gives me a perky grin.

‘I’ll go and talk to her, okay? Test the waters.’

4

MOLLY

‘Absolutely not.’

I stare at Angus in utter horror. He’s sought me out at the Oast House and pulled me out of the kitchen to a table by the window for what he pitched as ‘the perfect solution to my childcare needs.’

The guy must be smoking crack.

He tries again. ‘I think it could work—’

‘There is not a single level on which this could work, Angus. I don’t know anyone less paternal than Max. He hates kids.’

‘He doesn’t hate them. He just didn’t see himself as a father.’

‘He broke my heart.’

‘You broke his, too, when you walked away without a backwards glance.’

‘Backwards glances make everything far more painful,’ I mutter. ‘He broke mine first by not wanting a family with me. Dumb fucker.’

Angus presses his lips together. ‘You both wanted very different things. I wish it could have worked out for you both. But, for whatever reason, he has the chance to come back into your life again, and I think you can help each other.’

‘I wouldn’t call giving him a bed and leaving my innocent children in the care of a man who openly despises them helping anyone. Why is he sniffing around here, anyway? Why didn’t he just go to Derbyshire?’

He leans forward. ‘I get the impression he’s at a bit of a loose end. Not sure what’s going on, but I suspect he didn’t fancy hanging out with Julian for the next few weeks, so he thought he’d annoy me and Evelyn. He didn’t know the house was a building site. And he wouldn’t despise your kids, Molly. Think about the life he’s been leading these past few years. A bit of normality, of a regular home life, could do him good.’

I shake my head. I will not be swayed by Angus’ charm and caring manner. Not even after everything the guy has done for us this year. Nor will I allow Max Rutherford to darken my doorstep after the years of work I put into getting over him. Years that, in the depth of the night when I’m all too alone with my thoughts, I can admit overlapped the beginning of my relationship with Felix. My marriage, even.

And I certainly won’t let him anywhere near my children.

‘Look.’ I gesture tiredly. I really am burning the candle at both ends at the moment. ‘I just need a nice local girl with a car who can come and stay for a few weeks and process the kids in the morning. That’s what I’m looking for.’ Not a six-foot-three troublemaker whose body was my kryptonite and whose smile alone used to make my ovaries flip.

Stupid ovaries.

Theirpotential co-procreatorradar was bloody useless.

‘My brother is many things,’ Angus says, ‘but he’s far from incompetent. And while I get what you’re saying, at the end of the day, he’d never hurt a hair on your or Toby or Daisy’s heads. You can trust him with your life. That’s more than you can say for some complete stranger you hire at haste and regret at leisure when you find her chatting online while she’s supposed to be looking after the kids.’

---