Page 31 of My Secret Bandit

“On how to help relieve some of this… tension. You know, until we’ve met your promise.” No point beating around the bush. He wanted me. I wanted him. Now we needed to figure out how to keep his promise while maintaining our sanity in the meantime.

Thinking, he tapped the back of his fork to his lips before pointing it toward me. “Wecouldjust say fuck the promise and you can have me right here on this table.“ The need darkening his eyes told me he wasn’t joking.

“Mateo!” I scowled, throwing a crouton from my salad at him, earning a laugh as he caught it and popped it into his mouth before it had time to hit the table because for a minute, I forgot he was a professional athlete, blessed with ridiculous eye-hand coordination and speed.

“Okay,” I started, “I have two questions for you. How long has it been a thing and how many times have you broken it?”

“We started it when I was sixteen. Never broke it once.”

My head tilted. “So why throw it away now?”

I needed to understand why he’d willingly cast aside a decade-long promise for a night with me. What about me was so special that he had to call on every ounce of control not to break it?

“That night at The Cove, you took my breath away, Jameson. I watched you walk in, laugh with your friends. I watched Sierra pull you onto the dance floor, even though you looked like you’d rather beanywhereelse. Once you were there, though, the smile on your face was hypnotizing.

“Even before everything happened, something pulled me to you. Since then, I’ve dreamt about you. Making you laugh, seeing you smile. Fantasized about having you in my bed, the sounds you’d make. Now that I’ve actually got you, everything feels more real, more intense.” His voice turned low and husky. I couldn’t help the ache brought on by his words.

“We only have a couple more dates to get through.” I shrugged, trying to seem unaffected by what he said or the way his eyes currently penetrated through to my soul.

I didn’t know why. I easily could have told him I felt the same. That something drew me to him, some force beyond my control or comprehension.

I never believed in love at first sight. You can’t love someone without truly getting to know them. But by chance. Because of fate or serendipity or whatever you call it, Mateo and I were both at that restaurant.

He nodded. “And don’t think I missed that.”

“Missed what?” I asked, confused.

“If we were to make that decision, I wouldn’t bethrowinganything away. I’d simply be choosing what meant more to me. And I promise you, you’ll come in first every time. But since I think you deserve to know how serious I am… I’mma ride it out.”

For the first time since sitting down to eat, he set his fork down. Crossing his arms, he leaned into the tabletop. “Jameson?”

“Mateo.”

“What’s your number? Like how many people—“

I knew the exact turn this conversation took, and yet he struggled to find the right words. I’d seen him look vulnerable and even a little shy. But never unsure of himself, at least not like this.

“How many people have you been with?”

“You mean how many people have I had sex with?”

He nodded his head to the side.

“Will you tell me yours first?”

“Three.”

Before getting to know Mateo, I assumed—based on looks alone—that number would be higher. Doubled, even tripled. But now that I knew more about him, his character and the way he grew up, the number fit.

I wasn’t ashamed of my lack of sexual history. I knew what it was, and I learned to live with that. I was content having no experience in the bedroom. It always felt better than the idea of giving myself away to someone who wouldn’t care the next day.

“Zero,” I said, shying away and glancing at the table instead of him because being comfortable with my decisions differed completely from talking about them with someone. Especially someone I wanted.

“Hey. Look at me.” He called my gaze back up to his. “Why?”

No judgment lived on his face or mixed with his voice. Instead, his subtle smile almost looked… proud.

“I wanted to wait until someone came around that was not only worthy of my love but could show me the love and respect I know I deserve.”

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