Page 102 of My Secret Bandit

Xander filled him in because I sure as hell wasn’t going to, and just like I knew would happen, stern words lasted from the hospital parking lot to our driveway.

“Please. I was barely down a few seconds,” I retorted, helping Mateo shift out of the car and get centered under the crutches.

“Seconds?” Xander scoffed, amazed by how I had any sense of time while sleeping. “Try minutes… a few of ’em. When Suzanne couldn’t wake you, she came screaming down the hall like a madwoman. You’re lucky you woke up. Another second and y’all would’ve been in hospital beds next to each other.”

The thought of poor Suzanne having to live with the image of me turning into a pile of mush combined with the thought of being in another hospital bed sent a shudder running through me as we walked inside.

“Tío!“ Amelia jumped from the couch and ran to Mateo.

“Hey,bebita.“ He reached down and rubbed her head as she hugged his waist.

“¡Ay dios mío, Mateo! Siéntate mijo.”

He sat in front of the chair Benny brought over and let her prop his leg up with a mountain of pillows. Everyone stayed for a while, afraid to leave his side. Even with the bruised ribs, this was the first injury Mateo had that took him completely out of the game. This was uncharted territory… for everyone.

Thomas came over. He patted the thigh of Mateo’s uninjured leg but stayed silent.

“They suspended the tight end,” Xander said, looking up from his phone. “Six games, maybe longer, depending on a committee review.”

Mateo didn’t verbally react, but his body tensed. The fingers interlocked with mine tightened.

“Good! His season should be over, just like Mateo’s is. Hell! His whole damn career should be over.”

“Pop,” Mateo said, turning his head to look at his father.

“I’m sorry, son, but I’m pissed! If they had thrown him out when it first started, you’d be just fine right now,” he huffed, breathing hard as the words came out with his arms crossed over his chest.

“It’s fine, Pops. Well… notfinebut—“ He stopped, unable to come up with the perfect words to express his thoughts. He stayed quiet while he looked down at his lap, then reached up and wiped a tear from his eye.

And that did me in.

I stood from my place next to him, kissed his cheek, and silently climbed the stairs.

I wanted to be strong for Mateo. I really, really did, but I needed to get my emotions under control first. A good cry would make it better, so that’s what I did. Replacing my work clothes with loose pajamas, I locked myself in the bathroom. Curled up on the floor, I cried out every tear until my eyes were as dry as the fucking Mojave.

“Jamie.”

A knock on the door startled me. I pushed myself up from the cold tile, rested my palms against the surface and listened to Xander’s pleading voice seep through. “You don’t have to open the door, just please tell me you’re okay.”

I didn’t answer.

I couldn’t.

My tears effectively sucked up every ounce of moisture in my body, leaving my mouth so dry it felt impossible to form words.

“Just let me know you didn’t pass out again.” When I didn’t answer, he continued. “You have until ten, then I’m busting this bitch down. One.”

I listened to Xander count, unmoving from my spot until he got to eight and his voice backed further into the bedroom. Moving fast, I opened the door and left him running full speed into my space.

He engulfed me in his arms. “Stop scaring me! I can’t take any more tonight!”

I wrapped myself around him, letting his presence and the earthy scent of his cologne create a cocoon of warmth around me.

“I’m sorry.”

“Shh, sweetheart. Don’t be. It’s okay to not be okay right now.”

I shook my head against him. I wasn’t okay, and I felt guilty as fuck about it. I shouldn’t be the one crying. I wasn’t the one with a season-ending injury or a surgery planned. I wasn’t the one forced to stop doing the one thing I’m passionate about because someone else couldn’t control their temper.

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