Page 68 of Unexpected Kisses

AJ:I’ll come over there if you don’t answer me

Shit! That’s all I need. I don’t want him to see me like this, so I quickly respond.

Me:I’m home safe. You don’t need to come here

AJ:You’re lucky, I was about to walk out the door

AJ:Are you okay?

Me:I’m fine. Thanks for tonight

AJ:I promise next time will be better

Ugh! Tonight was crappy because of me. Nothing he did. I can’t even think about next time.

Me:We got the job done. That’s what’s important

I tuck the phone between the cushion and the arm while Em waits patiently for me to spill. I take a sip of my drink and try desperately to gather my thoughts.

“So you had sex with AJ?” she says slowly and I nod. “And it was terrible?” She widens her eyes and raises her eyebrows. I nod again. “What was so terrible about it?”

Where do I start? How do I explain?

“Talk to me, Sis.”

I blow out a breath and start from our two months of failed attempts and AJ’s suggestion that we try havingactualsex.

“Oh no.”

“Yeah. You know that’s not gonna end well for me, Em. I already liked him more than I’m supposed to—”

“What do you mean…?” she asks gently.

“Well, he offered to be my donor, not my lover, not my boyfriend, not my life partner. And … and he told me he’s met someone he really likes. How’s that gonna work?”

“Oh, Sare.”

Tears trickle down my cheeks. “It’s so not fair. Why couldn’t I have met him without all this donor stuff between us? He’s perfect in every way.” My tears increase and my sister becomes blurry.

I feel the couch move as she shuffles closer and wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Sometimes we don’t get to choose when we get to meet our person. Sometimes it happens unexpectedly. You can’t plan everything, you know that, right?”

I tip my head back and blow out a breath. “I know.”

“What was so bad about the sex, apart from knowing he likes someone else?”

How do I explain the disaster to my sister? “Just to be clear, I find everything about AJ sexy.” She nods. “And I’m desperately trying to not fall in love with him. Though, that’s not really working out so well for me.”

“Mhm.” She nods again.

“He kissed me, Em.” She raises her eyebrows. “It was everything.” The edges of her lips tip up. “Before I went there, I knew I was in trouble, but when he kissed me, IknewI was in trouble.”

“Mhm.”

“So, I refused to get naked and told him to keep his clothes on too. I figured if I had a physical barrier between us, it would help.”

“Did it?”

“Not really. He took his shirt off.”

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