Page 60 of Unexpected Kisses

He shakes me and I snap out of my shocked state with a gasp. “I … I … can’t … breathe.” I manage to get out. I flap my hand in front of my face.

“Jesus, what do I need to do?” He stands, pulling me to my feet, and drags me to the window, opening it and pushing the top half of my body outside. I draw in gasping breaths, filling my lungs with each suck in and blow out. “Shit! Are you okay?”

I turn to look at him for the first time since he dropped his helpful suggestion, but my vision is fuzzy. I think his eyebrows are furrowed over his eyes and even though I can’t see him properly, his worry for me is radiating from him in waves. It’s almost stifling. I draw in deep breaths and try to regain my composure. That was possibly the last thing I imagined when he said we needed to ‘talk.’ And I’m not sure why it wasn’t something I even considered a possibility.

“Are you okay?” He helpfully rubs his hand up and down my back, sending my body haywire. He has zero idea of the impact his touch has on me. How his concern affects me, my heart.

Without making eye contact I nod. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I’m not sure what happened.”

“I think you had a panic attack. You ever had those before?”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t think so,” I whisper. Well, not that severe, anyway.

“Was it the idea of having sex with me that set you off?” My eyes snap up to his, my cheeks heating in embarrassment. I want to lean forward and erase the frown lines between his eyebrows but I daren’t.

I nervously laugh. “Uh, what … no … of course not,” I scoff. My heart beats an erratic rhythm and I’m worried I’m having a heart attack now. I’m too young to have a heart attack, right?

“Then what set you off?”

Oh, God! I can’t tell him I’ve fallen for him and if we actually have sex, I’ll be asking him to marry me. He’ll think I’m a fruit loop and run for the hills, never to be seen again. He only agreed to be my donor, not tie himself to me for life. I step away from him to get some space and air that’s not filled with his citrus scent, which is an aphrodisiac for me. “It … it’s just that was never part of my plan. I don’t like it when plans change suddenly and I’m unprepared.” There, that doesn’t sound too crazy. I hope.

He chuckles mildly. “I’ve sort of picked up on that trait of yours. I’m not saying we should have sex right now. You’ve got time to get your head around the idea.” He digs his phone out of his pocket and checks something. “You have ten days to get used to the idea.”

My mouth drops open. “You really do have an app to follow my cycle.”

“Yeah. I told you I did.”

The tension I’d been holding in my body releases a little. “I was worried you wanted to talk about ending our arrangement because maybe you’d met someone.” I point toward his phone. “But you’re taking this seriously.” I step closer and lay my hand on his forearm. “Thank you. And I’ll think about the next step.”

He grabs the back of his neck and looks down at the floor between us. “I have … uh … met someone.”

I remove my hand from his arm as though I’ve been burned. “Oh.”

“I’m taking it slow. I’m not sure if she feels the same for me as I do for her, and I’m trying my best not to rush things because I don’t want to scare her off.”

Well, if anyone knows how that feels, it would be me. I smile at him, but I’m certain it looks forced. “Are you sure you want to move forward with my pregnancy plan? She might not appreciate you spending time with me, to uh … you know, get me pregnant.”

CHAPTER24

–aj–

Damn it!I’ve screwed up. I shouldn’t have told her I’d met someone. She’s going to assume it’s someone else, and I can’t tell her it’sher.

“Oh yeah. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it.”

“Well, I definitely don’t think we should have sex then. That’s not fair to the woman you’re seeing.” She’s pulling away again. Me and my stupid mouth, but I didn’t know what else to say to throw her off.

“It’s okay. Honestly. I think it’s all one-sided. An infatuation. It’s not like we’re dating, or anything. I made a promise to you first and I always follow through with my promises.” I step back into her space. “I think you should give my suggestion the consideration it deserves. It’ll be more efficient. It’s the method that’s worked for thousands of years.”

She chews on her bottom lip and drops her eyes to the floor. Uncertainty is written all over her face. “I don’t know if it’s such a good idea. I don’t want feelings to get involved for either of us or your lady to get hurt.”

She doesn’t want feelings to get involved. See, dickhead, it’s all one-sided. You’re way over your head here. My heart constricts. How is it I find the perfect woman and she only wants me to be her donor? She’s so determined to stick to her plan that she doesn’t see me at all. But I made a promise, and it’s not her fault I’ve fallen for her when it was never part of the plan. I lower my voice. “Don’t worry. Feelings won’t get involved. I promise.”

She nods slowly, her eyes become glassy, but she blinks quickly, then turns her face away from mine as she swallows. “Okay.”

My eyes widen in surprise. Okay? Did she just agree to try my idea? Or was it okay because there won’t be feelings involved?

I run my tongue across my dry lips. “Great. You can come to my place next Thursday night.” Sarah nods. I think I should leave before the conversation gets any more complicated and I say more shit I shouldn’t say. “All right, I’ll head off and leave you to your evening. Are you gonna be okay? Do you need anything?”

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