Page 100 of Unexpected Kisses

“Do you two want to go in next?”

I glance at Dylan. “If you don’t mind, I plan on staying. So you and Dylan can go in next.”

Hayley nods and I notice out of my periphery that AJ’s parents and grandparents are speaking quietly between themselves. Dylan and Hayley head toward AJ’s room and I take the few steps over to the window. It’s dark out, and the streetlights are on, shining the way for people to head home.

When Hayley and Dylan return to the family, Hayley steps into her mom’s arms and they both break down in tears. My heart thumps heavily in my chest and my worry increases exponentially as I fear what I’m about to see.

Dylan wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Are you going to be okay going in there on your own?”

I nod slowly, building my resolve. AJ needs me to be strong for him and that’s exactly what I’m going to be. “Is he awake yet?”

He shakes his head. “Nope and he’s pretty banged up. You need to prepare yourself.”

I swallow, my mouth suddenly as dry as the dunes AJ and I climbed. My heart pounds and blood rushes to my ears, but I refuse to allow my body to shut down on me. I draw in measured breaths and push my shoulders back. I’ve got this. I say my goodbyes to AJ’s family and Dylan and head down the hallway alone to AJ’s room on rubber legs. The hallway seems longer than before, each step filled with dread as I imagine AJ’s broken body lying still on a hospital bed. The man who is so full of life and vitality.

As I reach the doorway, I pause and suck in much-needed air. You can do this Sarah. He needs you. It’s your fault he’s lying in the damn bed, broken and battered. I cover my mouth to hold in my sob and steady my shaky legs, then push open the door to his room. Machines beep a steady rhythm in the low-lit room and I urge my feet to move me forward. Air gushes out of my lungs as I lay eyes on the man who’s only ever been kind, generous, and patient with me.

His head, wrapped in a bandage, is the first thing my eyes latch onto, before slowly cataloging the rest of his face, noting every scratch and bruise. A gasp escapes and my eyes well as I take in his bruised and battered features. “I’m so sorry, AJ,” I whisper to nobody.

Pulling over one of the two chairs in the room, I gently take his hand in mine, keeping my eyes firmly locked on him for any change or movement.

CHAPTER42

–sarah–

Soft touches glidethrough my hair, waking me from a fitful sleep. It takes me a moment to figure out where I am, and when I sit up, a pinched pain in my neck pulls me up short. Rubbing the area, I glance around the hospital room, memories of yesterday afternoon and last night assaulting me. I’m unsure how I managed to sleep with the constant sound of beeping machines and the dim light the nurses kept on so they could see what they were doing each time they came to check on AJ. I made myself as comfortable as I could on the plastic chair, leaning my head on the side of AJ’s hospital bed because I couldn’t bear to leave him.

The guilt swamping me about his accident and how I responded on Monday were eating at me, making me feel like throwing up. He’s lying in this bed, broken, because of me and my shitty response to our new reality. I wish I could go back in time and change everything that happened.

“Sarah.” AJ’s raspy voice captures my attention and I snap my gaze to his face.

His eyebrows are scrunched low and there’s tightness around his eyes. “AJ,” I breathe. “Do you need me to get a nurse?”

He nods, then winces. “Please.”

I stand, smoothing down the skirt I wore to work yesterday—was that only yesterday?—then head out to look for someone to help. I find a nurse stepping out from behind the desk. “Hi, my boy— … uh, Mr. Jackson in room five two seven is awake and in pain.”

“Sure. I’ll be there shortly. I just need to give these to another patient.” She holds up a tiny cup with some tablets.

“Thank you.” I spin around and rush back to AJ.

A glass of water with a straw rests on the side cupboard, so I offer him a drink while we wait for the nurse. I stroke my fingers down the side of his face, cataloging each cut and bruise so I don’t hurt him worse than he already is. His usual five o’clock shadow has become more of a fuzz since I saw him on Monday. I lower my face to his and kiss his temple with the lightest of touches, cupping the opposite side of his face gently. “I’ve been so worried about you.”

He presses into my touch. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who’s sorry.” I draw in a deep breath of hospital air. “I’m so sorry. I’m just glad you’re okay. I couldn’t bear to think of a world without you in it. That I never got the chance to tell you I love you.” One of my tears lands on his cheek and he reaches up slowly, wiping beneath my eye with his thumb.

He slides his fingers through my hair, cupping the back of my head and bringing me down to his mouth, pressing his cracked lips to mine. “I love you, too. So much.” His warm breath brushes my lips, and I lightly press my palm against his heart, reminding myself he’s here and he’s going to be okay, if not a bit banged up for a while. My eyes dance between his, noting his sincerity and exhaustion.

He loves me. He said he loves me.

His words bathe me from head to toe in warmth and lightness that’s been missing since Monday. I could float on the clouds with relief.

Squeaky footsteps break our moment, and I look up to see the nurse I spoke with in the hallway. “Nice to see you awake, Mr. Jackson. I’m Adele, and I’ll be your nurse. I believe you’re in pain.” She presses her fingers to his wrist and watches her fob watch. “On a scale of zero to ten, zero being no pain and ten being the worst pain you can imagine, what would you rate your pain level?”

“Maybe a seven or eight.”

I wince. Here I am confessing my love for him, and he’s in terrible pain. He probably won’t even remember this conversation or that he told me he loves me. Maybe it’s the drugs in his system doing the talking?

---