Page 88 of Dare To Free Us

The next twodays were an endless real of countrysides and small towns flashing by as Steven drove like a machine without the need for sleep.

Luca instructed us to drive to Miami, saying we needed to put as much distance between us and Boston as fast as possible.

His authoritative nature jumped into action the moment I called. Luca took a mere second to breathe through the news about Matteo before putting all his focus on my safety. I knew in his heart he was hurting, and nearly cried at the level of loyalty and care he was showing by not letting his own pain cause him hesitation.

It took Steven and I two days, stopping midway, late at night in a tiny town somewhere in North Carolina, for a quick change of clothes and lodging for the night. During that time the air between Steven and I was thick with concern. We barley spoke as both of us stayed occupied within our own thoughts about what the future would look like.

Steven constantly called for updates about Matteo but the answer was always the same. Matteo was hanging on by a thread and the doctor could not say with certainty that he would pull through.

When we stopped for the night the awkwardness pushed at the walls of our tiny motel room, making it feel even more cramped. There were two beds but I’d never slept in a bedroom with another man before and Steven practically pressed himself against the wall every time we passed each other, so as not to touch me. It was obvious he saw the situation of sleeping in the same room as his boss’ wife, borderline betrayal.

But both of us had agreed that separate rooms were out of the question. Steven wasn’t going to let me out of his sight and I truly didn’t think I was capable of being alone.

When we laid down to sleep the tears that dried up earlier that day came back in the silent darkness of the room. Steven had informed me about Maria’s murder on the road, and I’m ashamed to say that at the time I was so consumed with shock to react much.

But in the silence and dark her face appeared. So warm and loving with her bright smile and kind eyes. Her senseless murder made me crave comfort from the one person who could combat that kind of loss even more.

I wanted Matteo. I wanted to feel his hard, warm body pressed to mine as he kissed my neck and held me tight. My chest became tight with agony.

If I couldn’t have Matteo I wanted my mom, dad, Becka, anybody that would give me some sort of comfort and lie to me with promises that everything was going to be ok.

With one hand pressed to my belly, I used my other to crush the sheets to my chest. I tried to be silent but the sobs came out in choppy, short breaths that I couldn’t hide if my life depended on it. I could hear Steven shifting uncomfortably in the next bed.

After several minutes of crying with my face stuffed in the pillow I heard Steven’s bed creek. I felt his presence approach my bed and held my breath.

His throat cleared. “If you would like, I can hold you until you fall asleep.” My God, the trepidation in his voice made me want to cry for him. There was no doubt Steven didn’t want to do it out of respect for boundaries, but could also tell listening to me cry was scraping his skin raw.

I agreed with him, it would be vastly inappropriate under normal circumstances, but this was not one of those times. I just needed someone who understood my pain to be there. My heart beat sluggishly in my chest, feeling like it would give up at any moment. I just wanted to be held.

“Please,” I squeaked out, trying not to sound as desperate as I really was. However, that tanked the moment he laid down beside me and curled me into his arms. I pulled my arms into my chest and buried my face into his massive frame. We were both fully clothed in jeans and T-shirts but it felt like we might as well have been naked.

We were both stiff as boards, and yes, the awkwardness was nearly enough to call it off, but after a while we both relaxed in the silence and I fell asleep.

Steven woke me sometime early morning, saying that we needed to get going. I couldn’t understand how he was awake and ready to go after only a few hours of sleep. We stopped at a diner for food and then it was another fourteen hour day of driving. My legs started cramping and my back felt like steal cables pulled tight. Steven shifted in his seat right along with me. We stopped for bathroom breaks and food, but other than that, Steven was determined to get me to Miami in record time.

When we finally arrived I called Luca, who said he was already at the airport waiting for me. He’d flown in— from where I had no clue— earlier that day and did not want to wait a single second on getting back out.

We pulled up to the airport and I ran into Luca’s arms. He hugged me tight and it felt good to see my friend. He was always Matteo’s best friend first and foremost but we’d all been though a lot and always looked at Luca like an older brother of sorts.

When Luca and Steven made eye contact the warm Miami night turned cold. Luca looked strange in worn jeans, a T-shirt and ball cap, but the hard look in his eyes proved he was still the Luca everyone once feared.

We all stood on the sidewalk, people bustling around us not realizing the stare-off happening in their mists, as Luca held me to his side.

I knew what Luca was thinking, and doing his best to relay through his eyes that were promising death. If Steven ever mentioned a word about Luca and Becka being alive to the wrong person, Luca would hunt him down.

Steven took the look without the tiniest flinch, I think he understood where Luca was coming from and chose not to take offense. The only emotion I could read was relief. Then I remembered what Steven had said about missing Becka that day when he helped me get the box down. I hoped that knowing Becka didn’t die a horrible death in a fire would bring him comfort.

Steven raised his hand to Luca, which he accepted. “It’s good to see you Luca.” The sincerity in his voice eased the tension.

Luca’s shoulders softened a bit. “And you Steven,” he said. “How is he?” The pain in Luca’s voice pushed to the surface

Steven glanced at me. “Not so good. But I have your number, so I can keep you updated.”

“That number won’t work the moment we part ways. Matteo has multiple numbers. When, or if,” Luca’s throat bobbed in a harsh swallow, “Matteo survives, he will know how to contact me.”

“What! No!” I cried, loud enough to have people turn and look. I pushed away from Luca. “I want to be able to know what’s happening.”

Luca sighed, hard. “It’s safer this way, Arianna. Matteo trusted Steven and so will I, but I can’t put Becka, our baby, or you at extra risk. Steven having a direct number is dangerous right now. If something happens to him and they get that number, it leads directly to us, and you.”

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