Page 5 of Dare To Free Us

Dammit! I should have never touched her. This never should have happened. I was no pervert that preyed on young women but in that moment I never felt more fucking dirty. My brow pinched with anger and Arianna’s eyes glistened, I ignored the coming tears.

“This never should have happened, and it will never happen again.” I tuned and left before she could react to my cruel dismal in the way I already knew it would hurt her.

Shaking my head to rid the memory from the forefront of my mind I stared back at Arianna trying to regain my train of thought about why I’d been an idiot for ever giving into the strong attraction between us. Trying to convince myself it wasn’t worth it, and failing miserably, acknowledging all the things that pulled me to her.

Arianna’s father owned banks and businesses in which we laundered our money through. We’d worked together for years, making more money than any of us dreamed. Arianna was a small girl when I first saw her, and even then, there was no doubt she would be a beauty when she grew up. But as time went on her curious peeks from around the corner and innocent conversations turned into all out heated gazes when she turned sixteen. Every time I spoke to her I found myself unwilling to stop.

She’d grown into a woman far sooner than the universe should allow, but it wasn’t just her beauty. Arianna had a sense of maturity that I couldn’t find in most women my own age— at eight years her senior. She was intelligent and refined, capable of holding a conversation about many things that had nothing to do with shopping or the latest trends on social media. Hence, part of the reason she had a hard time making friends her own age. She’d always acted much older than her years, fooling everyone who didn’t know her personally.

Then there was the sense of weightlessness when I found myself in her presence. Somehow the stress and pressure of the world would fade away and leave all my defenses in sleep mode. It never felt wrong to be honest and open with her. Arianna listened as eagerly as Luca did. There was a feeling of just being able to bemewhen I was with her. Arianna could make me laugh or smile on my worst day. Several times while in meetings with her father I found myself eagerly waiting to be excused by my father so I could spend a few moments with Arianna. For so long I chalked it up to the fact that I’d known her for years and watched her grow, but that was a lie. Being around Arianna was as easy as breathing.

Still, the fact that I wanted her made me sick inside. I knew I shouldn’t. I wasn’t intoyounggirls,in any way, shape, or form. But everything about Arianna intoxicated me, along with the rest of the male world. Those cognac eyes, perfect olive skin, plump lips, and a waist I could fit my hands around drove me insane. It didn’t matter that Arianna didn’t have huge tits, ass, or hips, when she stood before you, Arianna was all woman.

The only woman Iwanted.

“You know why that can’t happen,” I growled.

“Because I’m seventeen? I may have kissed you, but I don’t think you can say it was all me for the thirty seconds after that. I certainly wasn’t grabbing my own ass.”

I growled out loud at her dig, knowing she was right. I’d wanted to kiss her that day.

Arianna flung her hands out in frustration. “You know I want you. I said as much that day in the kitchen. If you don’t want me,” she paused, a flash of hurt streaking across her face. As if the thought of me not wanting her would crush her soul. “I’ll find a way to get over it.” She nearly choked on the words.

I stayed silent. I couldn’t tell her how much I wanted her. It was wrong. So fucking wrong. “You are a young girl Arianna. I’m eight years your senior.”

Her head ducked in a lack of confidence, very unlike herself. “I know that. I understand, Matteo. But you won’t even acknowledge that you have feelings for me.” She looked at me again and I wanted the earth to swallow me whole from the hurt in her gorgeous eyes.

“It wouldn’t make things any better. Nothing can happen. I’m not that kind of man.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Do you think I would feel like I do if you were? I know I’m young but I also know that I’m not like most women my age.”

I stayed silent, not liking the way I was tempted to pull her in my arms and comfort her. The less I said the better. I didn’t trust myself not to spill my true feelings and give her false hope.

“I’m going to be eighteen in six months, but does that even matter to you? I mean…” Arianna spun away and tried to hide the uneasiness that was taking over her face. She was being incredibly brave by letting herself be so vulnerable, at great risk of being shot down. Arianna turned back to me. “Do you even really want me? I’m not blind Matteo, I see the way you look at me. I feel everything I see in your eyes, but if it’s not real then please tell me. If you have zero feelings for me after all, then I deserve to know.”

“Arianna…” I wasn’t sure what to say. Of course it mattered that six months from now she would be legal but that wasn’t the entire problem. Arianna should not be with a gangster like me. She knew what I was, but for some reason wanted me anyway.

Arianna’s family was as wealthy as mine. It wasn’t about money and even though she knew who I was she never had any interest in obtaining a title for society status. Her want for me was pure. If she weren’t so damn young I would have craved it. People in my world always had ulterior motives, except for Arianna.

When I didn’t come up with an answer she huffed in defeat, her eyes turning glossy. The almost tears twisted my guts. I never meant for things to go so far— or maybe that was a lie also— either way, I never wanted to hurt her. “Ok Matteo, I understand. I really do. I didn’t come here tonight with the intention of harassing you. I don’t want to torture you or make life hard for either of us. I… I promise after tonight I won’t press the subject. I’ll go off somewhere to college so you won’t have to see me again. I think that will be better for us both.” I caught sight of a single tear running down her face as she turned for the door.

That did it.

That single tear and the idea that after tonight I might not see her again. That some other man would come in and heal her heart and hold her in his arms sent me spiraling into insanity.

I didn’t even know I was moving until I had her arm in my hand and was spinning her around to face me. Her chest bumped against mine as a gasp sprang from her parted lips, eyes going wide.

“I want you, Arianna.” There, I said it. “I know it’s wrong and what kind of a man that makes me but, you can’t leave.” Tears fell down her cheeks as I cupped her face. “I can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else.” That was the truth. The idea of her not being mine was more than I could bare.

“Matteo,” she breathed against my lips. Then I was kissing her.

I plundered her mouth with an all out assault as her hands threaded into my hair to pull me in harder. My hands went to her hips and crushed her small form to mine. She moaned, my body lit on fire. I wanted her more then I could remember wanting anything, ever. Desire roared like a beast in my head.

Shit, shit, shit.

I knew if I wanted to keep going Arianna would whole heartedly let me. I could spread her out on my desk and take her anyway I chose. My dick got hard so fast I got light headed. But, some part of my brain was still working because I pulled back before things went any further.

“Arianna.” She blinked up at me, lips red and swollen from our kiss. “If we are going to do this we have to take it slow. It’s six months until your birthday. After tonight we wait and then…”

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