Page 109 of Turning the Tide

JAMESON

I don't know much about wedding etiquette, but I'm pretty sure the exes don't typically attend. As I stare down at my suit, It's clear why. I don't know how long I'll last. If I'll even make it to the ceremony at all. At this point, it's taking every ounce of willpower I have to stay away from the bar.

I push the envelope down into my suit pocket, and it feels a lot like giving up. I shake my head, reminding myself this is letting go. I used to let fear limit me, keeping me stuck in the prison of my own mind. Now I'm setting myself free. I will always care, but now I feel like the fight is over, and I'm making a choice to stop trying to force her to love me back.

This is moving forward.

The guests are arriving, and I feel out of place. I find my brother roaming around, and I hand him the envelope I brought.

He gives me a stern look, "Jameson."

"It's not what you think."

"Promise?" He asks, sticking it into his inside coat pocket.

"Yeah, I just feel like I'm the one giving her away today."

He sighs, he might be Eric's friend, but he's my brother. "You never really got a fair shot, Jay. I'm sorry how things happened."

"Yeah, it wasn't the right time, but it was definitely the right girl."

He laughs, "Yeah, I knew that from the first time I saw you with her."

"Well," I scratch the back of my head, "I wanted to be here for Ellie, but I can't watch this. Not without making an ass of myself, and I can't do that to Hanna."

"I understand. Ellie will too."

"I'm supposed to take her home, any chance you'd call me after the reception, so I can come back to pick her up?"

"Yeah, no problem."

I walk by the gift table, and my eyes stop at the archway at the end of the aisle, covered in pink flowers.

Ugly ass pink flowers.

I kind of figured I'd look around and feel like this should've been my wedding. That Hanna would be everywhere—in the decor, in the cake, in the clothes— but she's not.

Actually, it's the opposite. I don't feel like I belong here at all.

I saunter to my truck, watching my feet the entire time. Kicking the gravel with each step, not entirely sure if my legs will hold me up. All I want to do is collapse. I look up and see Adam, leaned against my truck door.

"You're real good at runnin' away," He scoffs, pushing himself off the running board with his foot. "I half expected you to use today to confess your undying love."

"Yeah, well. It's a little late for that. Besides, Hanna knows I love her."

"Did you ever stop?"

"No, I didn't, but what do you care? Your sister is happy. She's marrying the perfect guy and will go on to live a perfect life. You never liked me anyway. You got your wish."

"Is that what you think? That I didn't like you?" He barks out a laugh.

"As much as I wanted to hate you for leaving Hanna with Ellie, I couldn't because you didn't know. It was her choice not to tell you. How could you have been there if you didn't know? Sure, you guys were toxic as fuck, but it was clear that you loved my sister. You never let anyone mess with her. I liked that I didn't have to worry about her as long as you were around. Don't act like that video of you fighting Logan didn't go around the internet."

"You fucking hated me, Adam. You and your mother both."

"My mother hates anything that isn't polished, pristine, and a member of the country club. I didn't hate you," he huffs, "I was jealous."

"Jealous?" I mock, what a crock of shit. "Why the fuck would you be jealous of me?"

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