Page 32 of In the Devil's Shadow

A lone clapping sound caught my attention. I turned my head to see Bash smirking at us in pure delight. Zaz and Mal stood there with shocked faces, whereas Desmond frowned at us like he disapproved of our kitchen escapades.

“I could recharge for a week on just the pheromones swirling around in here, bravo,” Bash exclaimed as he moved toward us. “But even catching the tail end of that show makes me feel like I’m at the brim.”

Ares pulled out of me and used his fingers to push his cum back inside me. I swatted his hand away, sitting up to stare Desmond down. I didn’t appreciate him facially reprimanding me with that judgmental Karen-expression on his face.

“Don’t youdarefucking look at me that way, you judgmental asshole,” I reamed him. “I guarantee in your hundreds of years on this planet you’ve had sex in a kitchen before. I would even wager you’ve fucked one of the guys in a kitchen at least a few times.”

He most definitely has, Birdie,Bash linked me.He shoved the handle of a wooden mixing spoon up my ass once, too, while we were role playing as chefs.

I fucking knew it.

“Just make sure you use some Clorox wipes and clean up after yourselves,” he drawled, glancing at Ares’ release running down my thigh and raising an eyebrow.

“You didn’t mind having my cum all over your face before I died. I guess some distance from me really gave you some perspective as to how much of a hoe I am. Hey, at least you don’t have to guess who I’m sleeping with today…” I made sure my tone dripped with sarcasm. Petty spaghetti didn’t even come close to how I was feeling.

Even after all the shit that happened yesterday, I still thought of that comment and how much it wrecked me. You would think a man who fucked all of his friends and swore he wasn’t going to hide his emotions from me anymore would be less judgmental.

“Stop being a brat, Diana. That’s not how I meant that comment,” he said.Thanks for dismissing my feelings, Desmond.

“Really, how did you mean it then? I’m not sure if you remember, Desmond, but you almost slept with me too. We would have if we weren’t interrupted. I’m not sure why you have an issue with me sleeping with any of the men in this room, since you’ve fuckedall of them, but it’s not a good look for you,” I spat.

“That’s not my issue with you–I have no issue with any of the people in this room sharing each other or you,” he responded.

“Then what’s your issue with me? Why are you micromanaging me and treating me like a child? I thought that shit was going to stop back at the mountain house!” I shouted. I felt my face heat and a coursing anger settle over my heart.

His jaw tightened as he stood in place, eyes never wavering from me. The guys stood around, volleying their gazes between us waiting for one of us to say something. After a prolonged silence, I stepped up to break it.

“Cool, more denial. I guess I’m not worthy of a response. You said you wouldn’t hide from me–that you’d do better by me–but you barely apologized about what happened back in New York! You treated me like a pawn on your grand chessboard, making decisions about me without even consulting me. Then you micromanaged me and treated me like a child at the casino. The worst part is that you acted like nothing at all happened between us. It took me almost dying for you to admit your feelings, but then I actually die, and you conveniently forget about anything happening between us. But you’ll get pissy over walking in on Ares and I having sex.”

I could feel my temper rising, bubbling inside me like a vat of hazardous chemicals just waiting to explode. The feeling scared me, because I’d never had issues controlling my emotions or felt this intense anger before. A tear rolled down my face, and I could feel my body practically vibrating from trying to hold myself together.

“Diana, I think this is a conversation we should have in private, when you’re calmer,” Desmond suggested.

“Fuck you, you emotionless piece of shit. Don’t hurt my feelings and tell me to calm down when I react to it. You don’t like having to answer to anyone or losing control of anything, but guess what? You’llnevercontrol me,” I yelled, my voice taking on a deep timber I barely recognized. I wasdonewith this conversation.

Storming down the hall to my bedroom, I slammed the door and threw myself into bed.Fuck, I guess that doesn’t do shit to prove I’m not a brat.I tuned my super hearing so I could eavesdrop on their conversation.

“She has a point–youarean emotionally closed off bastard,” Bash conceded. Like he had any room to talk.

“You’re part of the reason she felt she needed to run away, and you should have apologized for it already,” Ares spat. “Instead, you ruined a beautiful sexual experience between us with your bullshit. We should be cuddling together in bed, maybe even going for a round two, but you fucked any chances of that happening.”

“Diana and I are my business. I didn’t ask any of you for your opinion, so stay out of it,” Desmond growled.

“You may not have asked for my opinion, but I’m going to give it anyway,” Zaz said matter-of-factly, completely ignoring Desmond’s macho-man shit. “Your guarded bullshit and inability to express anything remotely emotional ruined our relationship just as much as Bash’s possessiveness. I saw the way you held Diana in your sleep the morning after her father’s visit when I woke up and checked on her. You obviously care about her, so don’t you think she deserves better?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think she wants to hear anything I have to say now,” Desmond lamented, the defeat obvious in his voice.

“If I can get past almost killing her–twice–and work for her forgiveness, you can certainly do it,” Mal stated, his tone a smidge snarky. “If you exercised half the effort into fixing this that you do in trying to control everything, including your emotions, you’d be fine.”

Mal made a good point. He fucked up way worse than any of the guys did, but he still tried to fix the chasm between us.

I heard heavy footsteps coming toward my room, but before I could think to lock it, Desmond opened the door and invited himself in, sitting on the edge of my bed. I rolled over to avoid him, earning one of his derisive sighs. He held my shoulder, rolling me to my back so he could lean over me. His peridot eyes bore into mine, begging me to acknowledge him, but I chose to stare at the ceiling instead.

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you after you reanimated. I knew Ares and Bash were going to be all over you, and I wasn’t sure how you felt about me. Apologizing while you were falling apart over your dads didn’t seem right either, so I decided to let you come to me. I should have given you a more heartfelt apology sooner, for everything that I did wrong,” Desmond said, blowing out a breath of frustration before continuing. “I’m sorry, Diana. You deserve better from me. I just find it difficult to express how I feel, especially to people I care about. To do so seems like a slip in control to me.”

“You are a control freak…you forgot to apologize for that part,” I reminded him.

“I can’t–that’s just who I am. In the future, I’ll try to be more mindful, but you’ll have to call me out on it when it’s too much.” It may not have been exactly what I wanted to hear, but I could appreciate Desmond’s honesty.

---