Page 137 of The Map of Nova and Dev

“Why do you have to snatch the wind from my sails?” Swallowing back tears, I blink to clear my vision. “I came here to give you a piece of my mind and to beg for your forgiveness.”

Devin’s nose glides along mine, inhaling. “I’m all ears, Spitfire.”Oh, how I missed the tinge of cinnamon.

I draw back to keep my head clear of Devin’s hypnosis. “I realized what my hold up has been. And it’s not you or living together. It’s not really even your career, as hard as it will be.” With earnest eyes, he waits. “I’m afraid of messing up our little fairy tale, of embracing what we have because it seems too good to be true. I’ve heard so many stories from my parents and aunts and uncles about how they came to be, and if you only knew, you’d understand the perfection they are and the kind of pressure that puts on a person. Not because they didn’t endure crap, but because of how they overcame it all and still managed to find bliss.”

My hands slide up his firm pecs to cradle his scruffier-than-normal jaw. “You’re my first and my only true love, Dev. I’m terrified of making the wrong choices and losing you for good. Never getting another chance. We’ve been kept apart so many times. I think I’ve been scared to embrace this contentment only to have it ripped away because we made the wrong choices.”

Devin’s hands run the length of my spine, soothing up, then down. “Oh, Nov. Whatever choices we make, nothing will ever tear me away from you.”

“I know that now. And you’re right. I probably did need a couple days to realize that, too.” I tap the side of his face with faux aggravation. “But next time, don’t you dare leave me alone. We don’t walk away without hashing out our problems. This is it.”

“While we’re making confessions, I think I should tell you I struggle with that.” I rear back, unsure of his meaning. “With fighting with you.”

“I think you did a pretty good job yelling at me the other afternoon.”

His grin falls. “I know, and I’m sorry I yelled.” His grip slips beneath my hair, holding the base of my neck. “What I meant was, I struggle with being mad at you because you make it so damn difficult for me to cling to my anger. That’s why I left your place, Nov. I needed to think, and when I saw how devastated you were by what you’d unwittingly put into motion, my instinct was to comfort you. So I put space between us.”

“That’s quite possibly the sweetest thing ever.” All I want to do is kiss him, yet I hold back. “But, it’s not the first time you’ve run when things have gotten difficult. Go to the other room, take a jog, but hiding from me?”

Devin fills his lungs with a deep inhale. “I don’t want to be like my father,” he says on the exhale. “I should know better.”

Not for one minute would I compare Devin to the man who deserted his family. Their initial actions might match, but Dev’s intention was pure. Their hearts are very different.

“What if we make a deal here and now, Hotshot?” I draw him closer, pressing my forehead to his. “I promise to give you space in regards to your past, and you promise to always return to our bed the night of an argument.”

“I promise.” Hands slipping down my waist and around my backside to my thighs, Devin hoists me into his arms. My legs cling like ivy as he carries me to his bed. “It’s us, and only us. From here on out.”

And it doesn’t take even another breath before his mouth is on mine, and my back is against the mattress. His capable hands relieve me of my clothes with ease, his sweatpants not requiring much except for a shove.

“As frustrated as I was with you,” Devin’s lips skim my skin with purpose down the column of my neck, “I hated every minute in this bed where I wasn’t able to touch you.”

I can only reply with a staccato whimper as we become one, unable to tell where I end, and he begins. Two days apart might as well have been two years. We writhe and cling like we’ll never see the sun again, as if this is our last day on earth. With mouths sealed, he swallows my gasps, our bodies following an intrinsic cadence of wild caresses and building euphoria.

fifty-three | nova

Draggingme to lay across his torso and tangling our legs, Devin’s listless grazing of my spine draws goosebumps. “You know, if we’re careful with our money, we could just spend every hour for the rest of our lives in bed together.”

His heartbeat slows beneath my cheek as I draw circles across his chest. “Every hour? I think you’d get tired of me.”

Devin hauls me further up his body by grabbing a handful of my rear. “Not even remotely possible.”

With a smile, I tuck my head under his chin. “If you weren’t rethinking us over the last two days, what have you been doing?”

His hand resumes its lazy path over my back. “You mean after I flipped out, drank too much, and went for a marathon run?”

I hate to think of his state of mind without me to keep him from drowning in darkness. Humming my reply, my hand wanders behind his neck, curling in the hair at his nape.

“I called your dad and asked for his advice.” The fact that Devin feels comfortable enough to call my dad over such a delicate matter does something to my heart. Their bond makes me love them all the more. “It was nearly midnight, and I’m pretty sure I interrupted something between him and your mom—”

“Dev, don’t give me that image.” I pinch his nipple, and he jerks with a light laugh.

“He thought something was wrong with you at first. You should have heard the concern. I felt so bad I nearly hung up after reassuring him you were fine, but he wouldn’t let me go. We talked for two hours.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I prop my chin on his chest and meet his eyes. “He thinks of you as a son.” I blink away the tears.

“He talked me off the ledge Friday. Reminded me that I was strong enough to withstand the media’s scrutiny, that I don’t have to be a victim in this story.”

“He’s right. You are so strong, Devin Hawthorne, and I am so honored that you allowed me into your heart. That you let me love you with everything—”

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