“This is my parents’ old suite.”
Her face contorts as though she’s realized something, and she’s not happy about it. I take a step forward with the nightgown, and she takes a step back.
“I’m trying to give you pajamas to wear tonight.” She shivers, looking at the white sheet-like dress in my hand.
“That was your mothers?” She seems guarded, almost scared of me.
“Yeah.” I whisper with a nod.
“I want to go back to my room.”
“I think you should stay here tonight.” I would like to avoid explaining what’s happened because I don’t know how much she remembers, and it’s as much of a risk telling her as anyone else on her side.
“What about you?” She raises a brow.
“I’ll stay here too.” I carefully take a step towards her.
“I want the bed to myself.”
I nod my head in all directions as quickly as I can. “Yes, of course.”
After looking in my eyes for a second more, she holds out her hand and takes a step towards me, nearly falling forward. I flank to her side in an instant, holding her steady.
“Am I going to be okay?” Her voice shakes with worry, and a pang of guilt rushes through me. I never feel guilt, not like this. Haven’t in a long time. I despise it.
What the fuck is she doing to me?
“Yes.” I swallow and lead her over to the bed.
“Turn around.” She waves her hand at me, the nightgown clutched to her chest.
“Esperanza, I think I should help you.” She gives me the evil eye and I surrender, palms up, turning around. If I wasn’t already pissed at myself, I would find that look amusing, but my brainless rash decisions have caused the air between us to have more weight than I’d like it to.
“Fuck.” She growls under her breath, material crunching and swishing.
“Everything okay?” I ask, and she continues to fiddle with something aggressively. I halfway turn around to see that she can’t reach the zipper at the back of her dress.
“Adrik!” She warns my wandering eyes.
“Okay, I’m just— I can help, if you let me.”
“No.” She bites back, determined even more so to get it– grunting and hissing. I sigh and watch for only a moment more before completely turning towards her and grabbing her shoulders.
“Let me help.” She looks me dead in the eyes, a strange distant stare that almost concerns me because I feel like a monster, but I reach for her zipper anyway. She watches my hand until it’s behind her back, and steadily I pull it down her torso until it stops at her waist. Our breathing is in rhythm, but I doubt her heart is as loud as mine.
Why the fuck is my heart beating like this? I’ve undressed hundreds of thousands of women in far more precarious situations, yet somehow this is the most intimate I’ve ever felt with someone else. She blinks her long lashes at me, and I look down at her lips as she licks them. Does she want me to kiss her? Shit, should I?
Stop overthinking this, Adrik. I am supposed to be seducing her, after all.
Slowly, I lean in, and now her gaze is flicking between my lips and eyes. Her breath caresses my skin and chills rise like endorphins have been injected into me everywhere that I can feel her. Carefully, I brush my lips against hers and just before I can continue, she presses her open hand to my chest. Chills rise from there too, but this time, her touch is to tell me to stop.
Her elbow stiffens and I retract, clearing my throat and turning back around like I wasn't about to kiss her.
“Adrik…” She whispers and I face her again, far too hopeful– it’s embarrassing. Her eyes grow sad after a moment, and then she shakes her head. “Turn around.” She orders and I do, everything in me sinking like my organs have been thrown into quicksand.
14
ESPIE