Page 8 of Honest With You

Vanessa: That was a bit much.

Vanessa: Dean is annoying.

Vanessa: Wish you were here!

Vanessa: OMG there’s a cute guy here! He would look so good on you!

Vanessa: YUP. ON. YOU.

Vanessa: Okay.. THAT was a bit much.

Vanessa is a hoot. She is seriously one of the kindest and wittiest people I’ve ever met.

Somehow, I feel more at home here than I did in the five years I lived in Seattle.

I hear the door to the room next to mine slam and I roll my eyes. Reese must be back in her room, sulking now after stomping downstairs to complain to Yaya Ella.

I just spent the last hour arguing with my not-so-little sister about why she couldn’t go to a slumber party. Apparently, I’m ruining her life because I said no tooneparty.

It’s just the two of us home this weekend. I kicked Stephen out of the house after he had casually mentioned he got invited to a party at one of his classmates’ beach houses down in La Jolla. He barely went out back in Seattle and I know he needs to socialize and meet more people his age.

I roll my shoulders back and turn my laptop on, fully intent on getting a head start on my homework. Vanessa had invited me to go to a party tonight too, but I declined. I’m not really a party person. I know I need to make friends at this new place, but I would rather make sure Reese was good after the first week of school.

Honestly, I shouldn’t worry too much about her. She’s always been a social butterfly like Stephen, but that only made me worry about her more. I didn’t want her to go because I’m scared of her not knowing anyone here well enough to actually go spend the night at their house. I worry that she might be too trusting and that at some point she might trust the wrong person.

I pull my phone out and tap open the thread for Stephen. I text him asking if I should let her go.

Not even a minute later he texts me back.

Stephen: That’s a hell no.

I smile to myself.Of course.

He is a thousand times more overprotective than I am. All I ever do is worry but I have a soft spot for my siblings. I’m already second guessing my decision not to let her go. She deserves to be happy and feel like she belongs somewhere. I want to do everything I can to protect my sister… but not at the expense of smothering her either.

I text Stephen back.

Ava: What if they tease her for not going?

Dots appear, then disappear. Then, nothing.

I know my brother. I can feel his discomfort from miles away. I know he only wants what’s best for us. He feels a sense of responsibility, having to overcompensate for Dad. Like he has to fill that role while also being our brother. He doesn’t stifle us or force us to do anything we don’t want to do so I know he’s on the edge of giving in too.

I feel bad that I’m bothering him when he should be having fun.

My phone rings and I pick it up without looking, thinking it's Stephen. I stifle a groan when I hear the unmistakable deep rumble of my dad’s voice. On the rare occasions he does call, I usually pretend I’m busy doing something else and shoot him a text later on.

When Dad is physically around, it gets harder for me to put on that mask. The resentment surfaces and I have to really work on shoving all the animosity in the dark attic in my head where I’ve kept it locked up since I was twelve. When Dad’s around, it threatens to burst through, leaving me on the precipice of blowing up and it only seems to get harder as I get older.

“Hey, Ace.”

A shocked cough sputters out of me. He hardly ever calls me that.

Stephen is the only one who still calls me that. It was a nickname bestowed upon me by Mama. She used to call me her Ace.

What’s weirder than hearing Dad call me a nickname––he literally has not called me Ace since I was twelve––is that he actually called so soon. I just saw him last week. He normally doesn’t keep our interactions so close together.

I feel the familiar numbness overtake me.

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