Page 27 of Honest With You

Her breath hitches but she quickly turns away, attempting to appear nonchalant by clearing her throat.

“That doesn’t sound veryfriendly, Jesse.”

A playful smirk crosses her face as she untangles herself from my arms, and I once again follow her, this time to our cozy spot on the blankets.

I settle beside her and unzip the backpack. When I set the small portable heater on her side, I’m rewarded with a grateful smile as she moves the blanket from her shoulders to her lap.

She leans over, her strawberry scent wafting to me as she peeks into the backpack. A giddy squeal escapes her and she grabs my arm in excitement.

“You remembered!”

I grin back. “Like I said.”

I take two small chocolate pretzel bags from my backpack, ripping one open and handing it to her while grabbing two lychee-flavoredMogu Mogudrinks. I‘m about to set one down beside her when she greedily opens her palms out for me and I hand it to her with a grin.

She happily uncaps it, taking a healthy sip and I mimic her movements, my eyes trained on her lips before I catch myself doing it and look away.

“I love these! It was so hard to get them in Seattle. Where did you find them?”

I smile, replacing the cap back on the bottle and setting it aside. “I’ll take you if you want? There’s a Filipino market about twenty minutes away from where we live.”

“Yes. Please!”

No hesitation, just sheer exuberance. She’s swaying her shoulders back and forth as she happily munches on herChoco Knots, humming to herself.

I’ve never seen her this happy and there’s an ache pressing against my chest, both proud that I was able to coax that reaction from her and a twinge of sadness knowing it takes so little to make her happy.

“So…” She nudges my shoulder as she grins up at me, swiping another bag of chocolate pretzels from our stash. “Do you come here often?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorite places to go when I need a place to just breathe and think, you know?”

Ava turns to face me. She tucks her legs underneath her as her hands curl around the blanket and she folds herself under it.

“Do you have a lot of those moments?”

The shift in our conversation is abrupt, going from playful to serious in a split second. But it isn’t unusual, at least not for us. It’s one of the reasons I was so drawn to Ava when I first met her. We could be watching anime or eating junk food one second, and the next we’d be talking about the heavy stuff.

I normally don’t talk about my shit with the girls I date. I don’t talk to anyone besides Ty and that’s only when shit really gets hard. Yet with Ava, it’s different. I feel the words tumbling out before I’ve had a chance to really assess them.

“Lately, yeah.”

I can feel her gaze on me. I feel her waiting on me to say something else. When I remain silent, she shifts closer to me until her knees are on my blanket and we’re merely a foot apart.

“Is it your dad?” she asks, quietly.

Shock and a bit of anxiety stirs low in my belly. I flinch, my gaze meeting her concerned one.

“I remember everything too, Jesse. Is it–is it still the same with you two?”

My head bobs up and down. I start to get lost in memories of us in her bedroom. Of us talking about our dads and finding a sense of comradery in our fucked up relationships with them.

“Worse, actually.”

“Did you ever uh– talk to him about–?” She cuts off, her finger tracing the bottom of her lip as she searches for the right words to describe that secret I had divulged to her when we were kids.

“Yeah."

"What happened?"

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