Page 100 of Honest With You

Hugging her torso, she plays with the hem of her pajama top and shakes her head.

“Tell you what exactly, Jesse?” she replies.

It’s not a question so much as a statement, but I wait for her to continue.

“That I’ve spent the majority of the last few years working my butt off to prove to my dad, myself and to the rest of the world that I somehow deserve to continue the Torres legacy?” She blinks like she’s trying to keep a grip on her emotions.

It’s always been like this with Ava. We could be talking about the most mundane things, only to swerve into the real gritty stuff in the next breath.

We have this emotional connection tethering us together. Even with all these years apart, we still manage to pull each other out of our comfort zones and tear off the masks we put on for the rest of the world. When it’s just us, it’s real.

It hurts… but it’s real.

“I’m sure it’s not easy, Ava, but you make it look like it is.”

I reach out tentatively. Not just for her sake but to finally give in to the need to feel her skin against mine. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

She opens her mouth, seemingly to refute it but my hand tightens around her knee, needing to get this out.

“It’s not just me, you know?” A breathy laugh escapes me, as I once again marvel at this woman in front of me. “For the last few years I’ve heard it from our colleagues. I’ve watched you from afar. In the news, in the reports we get during staff meetings and from Uncle Luke. You flourished and stepped into your role with such grace and fervor that you obviously were born for it. This is your destiny, Ava. No one can take that away from you. Not your doubts or the jealous naysayers that throw out the word nepotism because there is nothing else they can say to take away from the successor negate the hard work you put in.”

“Jesse…” She breathes my name and heat rushes through me, memories piercing my every core, but I reel it in. She shakes her head but not because she’s refusing everything I just said. “Thank you. For saying that and for…telling me exactly what I needed to hear.”

I shake my head, smiling. “I know you, Ava. It may not seem like it or maybe you refuse to acknowledge that I still know you better than anyone does even years later, but I know you. I know that you stay late at work because you feel like you need to continuously prove yourself to people who are already in awe of you and the insignificant ones who simply can’t wrap their heads around how you’re at the top of your game while they remain stagnant in their career doing the bare minimum.”

“Jesse.” She’s staring at me wide eyed, her eyes melting like chocolate and glistening with unshed tears.

“I love the way you say you my name. I’ve missed it.” I reach out again, this time actually taking her soft hand in mine. My thumb glides across her knuckles. “I’ve missed you, Ava Marie.”

Her features twist in obvious discomfort and the mask she wears falls right off. Her lips part like she wants to say something but she shakes her head and pulls her hand back, her fist resting above her heart while the other toys with her bottom lip.

“You shouldn’t–you shouldn’t say stuff like that to me anymore, Jesse.”

Fuck it.

Life is too damn short and we’ve already wasted so much time being apart.

"But I want to, Ava. I want to tell you you're beautiful and life without you is anything but."

"It's been six years, Jesse."

"Time is figurative when it comes to us."

She blows out a slow, unsteady breath as her eyes dance around the room, before they land back on me. She shifts in her seat, her knees folding underneath her as her hands fist the hem of her shorts.

"Jesse, can't we just--"

"What? Be friends? Coworkers?"

I look away, unsure what I'm really asking for here. I want to be with her, but everything is so uncertain between us. The heartbreak I caused and the lengths I have to go through to win her back seem to go deeper than even I anticipated.

"I can't just be friends with you, Ava."

"Then I guess we're at an impasse." She sighs dramatically, her hand running through her hair as she stares down at her lap.

I eliminate the small distance between us, my fingers catching her chin as I tilt her head up until our eyes meet.

"You misunderstand me. We can't be friends because we're everything. We're inevitable. We're fate. I love you now just as much as I loved you then. It will never waver... I will never waver. Even when you keep pushing me away. I see what you try to hide, Ava. That spark. That happiness you tuck in when we're together. It's still there. I see it and I'm not giving up."

---