Page 93 of Honest With You

I drop my head on the table and groan. It only took me two glasses to feel this way. It’s my fault, since I barely ate today, consumed with catching up at work and dealing with the Chuck-Mickayla fiasco and possible litigation against Mason. Thankfully, for the most part, everything has been sorted out. Except the way I left things with Jesse has me feeling unsettled. Even more than I have felt these last few years after I basically kicked him out of my life.

Now he’s back and it looks like he’s here to stay. I took some time today to listen to the tracks he had personally produced and written for the label.

It was like a shot to the heart. Every song felt like he was speaking to me through the words, the melody so achingly painful it struck every chord in me.

Each song spoke of heartbreak and longing.

Every. Single. One.

Then, he had to utter those words to me.

What the hell does he want from me?

It’s been six years. How can he still have the power to hurt me? To own me like this?

Why am I not over it yet?

Ryder slides a glass of water my way, all while still holding on to Vanessa, because she won’t stop wiggling in her seat as she slams another shot down.

With an exasperated sigh, Ryder whirls around his seat and yells for the check.

“I’m cutting the both of you off.”

I sit up in annoyance. “What? Why? I only had two drinks! Van had four! Not fair, Ryder!”

Vanessa grabs Ryder’s ear. “You sound like my husband! Don’t tell me what to do!”

Her use of the word ‘husband’ catches both of our attention.

“Why did you say that?” Ryder pulls her hand away from his face and we both watch as Vanessa grabs her water, downing it in one go before she turns away from us and fans her face.

“What?”

“Husband?”

I eye her suspiciously, my eyebrows raising when I see her unconsciously rubbing her bare ring finger. I signal our waitress to close the partition and as soon as she does we both turn back to Vanessa who is somehow fixated on her hands resting on her lap.

“What’s going on, Vanessa?” Ryder asks in a low whisper.

It’s not as loud here since we’re in the VIP area, we’re away from people in this bar so it's easier to have a conversation but with the curtains closed, it becomes even more secluded.

Vanessa lifts her head with a sigh. “It’s nothing. I don’t even know why I said it.”

“I don’t buy that for a second.” Ryder sets his beer on the table and angles his body so he’s facing her like I am. “Is this about that new guy you’re seeing?”

Vanessa scoffs. “Why would you assume that?”

Rolling my eyes, I make a show of counting it out.

“Well first of all, you’re getting plastered. Second, you’ve been snapping at us all night and third, you used the wordhusband. A word you've proclaimed more than once, you're allergic to.”

“Is he pressuring you?” Ryder questions, a hint of anger in his voice.

She makes a sound in the back of her throat, almost like choking on a laugh.

“No. If anything I’m pressuring him. It’s getting too damn serious.” Then she sighs in defeat, slumping in her chair. “It’s just when we’re together, we’re so combative, you know. Neither of us backing down but at the same time, it's addictive. This constant power play between us. I think I’m starting to really like him.”

Ryder grins. “Oh.. so that’s the problem? You got marriage on your brain.”

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