Page 91 of Honest With You

It’s like the last six years amplified everything.

The love.

The lust.

The longing.

Somehow, every single emotion I feel for her is intensified.

She’s here now and I’ll be damned if I don't stake my claim or at the very least, let her know I still want her.

I still love her.

She’smine.

“What did you say?”

OH. MY. GOD.

I said it out loud. I blame Vanessa for putting that thought in my head.

After Jesse hugged me in the conference room, I spent my lunch dissecting every single detail with Vanessa, who I hastily Facetimed, and she concluded I needed to “clear the cobwebs.”

I’m pissed that Vanessa is actually right, because even with Jesse towering over me, dark stormy eyes brewing, I’m not scared in the slightest.

I’m turned on.

I hate that she’s right. I hate that jetlag, sleep deprivation and no social life has brought me here.

Stuck in an elevator with my ex-boyfriend who just heard me admit I need sex.

He’s still staring at me, his eyes boring into mine with such intensity that I feel like peeling off every layer of clothing because it’s hot as fuck.

“Jesse,” I start but then his knuckles graze my cheek, tracing my jaw until he uses it to tip my chin. The goosebumps that follow in its wake leave me breathless, my eyes closing with the sudden rush of emotions surfacing after laying dormant for so long.

"Tell me no and I won't kiss you."

He inches our bodies even closer until we all but become one.

"Ask me to stop and I will."

He lowers his head until our faces align, our breaths commingling in the inches separating us.

"Ava, look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel this between us anymore. That it doesn’t feel stronger than it did before. Tell me I'm too late and that I will never be able to get you to love me again."

"...Why?"

"Because you still have my heart and I don't want it back. I'm yours. Even if you're not mine."

I don’t even know how to respond to that, nor do I want to. He’s managed to have me inside out with a few words, but I cannot afford to lose my focus.

He’s caging me in a corner but there’s still enough room for me to slide out. He’s not holding me captive. He's not forcing me to do anything.

In fact, it looks like he’s holding himself back.

As much as the thought of satisfying my basic urges excites me, I’m not horny enough to make the same mistake again.

Jesse will remain the greatest love of my life but he was also my epic heartbreak.

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