Page 65 of Honest With You

“Ava needs to hear it from me first and with all due respect, it’s none of your business.”

Reese snaps her fingers and one of the bodyguards materializes from behind me.

“You can either see yourself out or get thrown out. You pick.”

* * *

It took more than a dozen call attempts and a plethora of text messages begging to see Ava before she agreed. Twenty four hours later, all it takes is one message from her and I’m sneaking out of school early and at her front gate within twenty minutes. Ella meets me at the door and walks me out into the backyard, where Ava is sitting on the daybed, staring at the pool with a book in her lap. She’s still wearing pajamas, her hair braided onto the side. Her face is pale and there are purple smudges around her eyes like sleep eluded her the same way it did me. She keeps alternating between rubbing her arm and picking at the blanket laying on her lap at my approach. She’s obviously uncomfortable over my presence and our situation.

I swallow hard at the thought of her in pain because of me. I never meant for all this to happen. By attempting to protect someone from my past, I inadvertently hurt the one person I wanted to be my future. I just hope that my truth will be enough to fix what I broke. The one thing, the only thing besides her siblings that Ava held dear is her trust and I broke it.

I sit beside her on the bed, not missing the slight flinch she does at my proximity.

“Ava.”

She doesn’t respond, instead shutting her eyes as if protecting herself from what I’m about to say.

“I—” Fuck, I’m so nervous, knowing one mistake on my part and I lose my chance at making her understand.

“I need you to understand th-that–when I told you I loved you, I-I meant it. I-I swear to you, baby. I’m committed to you.”

A tear slides down her cheek and I have to fight against the urge to wipe it away.

I try again, “There’s no one else for me.”

Her body language is still off, like she doesn’t know what to believe quite yet.

“Ava. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you.”

Her chin trembles as she swipes at her cheeks.

“Where were you, Jesse?”

“I didn’t lie about being in New York. I really was there. Remember Tyler? My cousin who goes to NYU. He really did call me with an emergency.” I force a breath out. “Margaret showed up at his place. I went there to take care of it.”

She turns to face me now, but her eyes still refuse to meet mine, instead fixating on something over my shoulder.

Before I can brace myself to tell her the rest, I’m rendered speechless by the quiver in her chin and the raw pain etched into the single word she utters with her lips.

“Why?”

I shake my head truly at a loss for words. When I left Margaret in rehab back in the summer, it was clear to both of us I was only there because parents made me. This time around, I barely even spoke to her. Her parents whisked her off before I could even get to the bottom of why she showed up at Ty’s house looking for me or how she even found him to begin with.

As soon as I fix things with Ava, I’m cutting all ties with Margaret.

But right now, Ava comes first. Always.

“I honestly don’t know why she’s doing this but I intend to find out. Ava, from now on, I promise not to keep anything from you.”

She scoffs at my non-answer and I get it, I’m barely making sense in my own head. I’m too worried that Ava will never forgive me. I’m anxious and frustrated but somehow I can’t completely articulate the right words to say to make Ava understand.

“You’ve made that promise to me before and you broke it, just like you broke your promise to never lie to me.”

“I never lied to you, Ava.”

She looks at me this time, her eyes blazing with a fury I’ve never seen on her before.

“You’re sitting there, lying to my face about those pictures, Jesse.”

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