Page 59 of Honest With You

Uncle Luke was still stuck overseas, filming what was apparently the first movie of a comic book franchise, and could not step away due to the secrecy surrounding his project. So everything was taken care of by staff instead.

Ava hates it. She complains about having strangers in their house, and security following them everywhere.

The good thing is, last week they charged Dean and he’s going to jail for a few years, plus community service.

Ava stirs beside me. She had taken a nap outside on the daybed while Ryder, Reese and Vanessa were swimming and eating everything they could find in the kitchen.

I’ve actually grown to enjoy Ryder’s company, especially now with Reese’s obvious crush on him. Witnessing her lame attempts to get his attention has been the highlight of the day. Even Stephen has been less grouchy lately, though he doesn’t really hang out with us much.

I gather Ava deeper into my arms as her eyes flutter open. It’s my girl’s eighteenth birthday this weekend and though I couldn’t plan a party or take her out like I want to, I was able to get her brother on board with my plan to at least make the day special for her. Starting with tonight.

I couldn’t wait to have alone time with her.

“Hey…” Ava yawns, her exhaustion evident. She had crammed for our midterms last night. She had to take two more tests than we did since she stays home on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

“Hey to you too, sweet girl.” I kiss the top of her head as she leans over my chest to look at our friends and her sister lounging in the olympic-sized pool. I breathe in the scent of her, loving the feel of her in my arms. For the longest time, I’ve searched for this feeling in the girls I dated. This contentment. The same peaceful ease I feel when my guitar is in my hands and the words and chords flow right out of me. We don’t even have to be doing anything. She could just be eating a Korean corn dog, courtesy of Ryder’s mom, and I’d simply look at her and that feeling would wash over me. I’m satisfied simply being in her presence. I’m happy.

I’m in love for the first time in my life.

I plan to tell her I love her this weekend. I want to tell her I’m willing to forego going to NYU in favor of a school here in SD or anything closer to where she decides to go. With everything that happened with her and Vanessa, we haven’t been able to have a decent conversation about what our future together is going to look like. I’m filled with fear that this contentment and level of happiness could be fleeting if we add physical distance to the mix.

I can study music anywhere but I can’t be with her in New York when I know her loyalty to her siblings has her rooted here in California.

“What are you thinking about so intensely?” She taps the crease between my eyebrows, gently rubbing it down until I chase her pointer finger away with a playful bite that has her giggling.

“You.” I brush back her hair away from her eyes, marveling at the gold flakes in her chocolate brown eyes.“Birthday girl. You.”

She rolls her eyes at me like I’m teasing her but with a gentle tug, I have her tumbling back in my arms and I shake my head at her. “I’m serious. I'm thinking about you. About how lucky I am that Stephen chose to come to school here and I finally got this chance with you.”

I place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I’m crazy about you, Ava.”

I kiss the tip of her nose.

“I can’t wait to celebrate your existence with you.”

Her cheeks flush, her eyes heating as they dip to stare at my lips but just as I’m leaning over for a quick kiss, we’re interrupted as a burst of water hits us both. I look up, just in time to catch the water gun Reese tosses my way.

“I’ll be right back, baby. I’m about to teach your sister a lesson and embarrass her in front of her little crush.”

Ava giggles, patting the now wet shirt clinging to my chest. I jump off the bed and run past Vanessa, who takes my spot, to chase a squealing Reese. She pulls Ryder out of the pool with her and now it’s two against one.

“Jesse!” I clutch his wrists, almost slipping on something I can’t see.

He has me blindfolded as he leads me out into the backyard for a surprise. My birthday isn’t until Sunday and it’s Friday night, but Jesse wanted to do an elaborate three day birthday celebration because he feels like he has to make up for the fact that he can’t take me out.

Not that he can’t… but I had to beg off this year. We’re not getting hounded by paparazzi much anymore and my dad’s PR team and security detail are both doing their jobs well enough that we can even hang out in broad daylight now without causing a media frenzy, but my dad is still pretty upset with me.

He already threatened to send me to school overseas.

I also don’t know if it’s the stress of the last month but I haven’t been feeling the best lately. I have a hard time sleeping at night, so I spend most of my days exhausted. I’ve found myself taking little naps throughout the day so I can function.

It’s gotten so bad, I’ve even resorted to using the elevator in the kitchen a few times to get up to my room after dinner because my body felt so heavy and my head light.

I feel Jesse’s breath tickle the back of my neck, sending goosebumps in its wake. He chuckles, dropping a kiss on my bare shoulder.

“I’ve got you.” His hands curl around my shoulders as he guides me more carefully.

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