I take a deep breath before I get up from where I’m sorting my books into piles.
I’m not in a hurry. I know exactly who’s on the other side of that door. I also know he’s going to say goodbye because, God forbid, he stays in the house with his kids for more than a week.
I rub the back of my neck and look around my new room.
This room is smaller than the one I had in Seattle, but only because Stephen and I let Reese have the bigger room this time. I won’t be here much longer after graduation, and she’s going to be in middle school.
I take another deep breath before pasting what I hope comes off as a genuine smile on my face. I open my door, only to find it’s not my dad but my brother standing outside my door.
I frown. “I thought you were Dad…”
Stephen rolls his eyes. “Check your phone. He texted us that he left like an hour ago. Didn’t even bother to send us individual messages this time either. Just sent us a group text.”
Wow.
I laugh half-heartedly. I mean, what else can I do? I never expect much from him, but this is a new low, even for him. But I don’t say anything. Stephen has enough pent up anger for all of us. And with Reese still being so young, I need to be the one person who isn’t bothered when Dad acts like,well… Dad. I have to be the peacemaker, even though all I really want to do is march up to him and ask what we need to do to earn his time.
I keep the smile on my face, even though I feel the resentment rise like acid, burning my throat.
I turn so my brother doesn’t see just how annoyed I am at Dad. I feel him follow me back into my room and watch as he throws himself on my bed, his arms crossed behind his head.
“You okay with all of this, Ace?”
I nod. He’s asked me this countless times over the last year.
Stephen has sacrificed a lot for Reese and me. We moved to California so he can go to his dream school. If we hadn’t, he would have stayed in Seattle and settled for a school he didn’t want. He’s that kind of brother, selfless. He puts Reese and I first. He deserves this. Reese does too. If Stephen had moved away, she would have been devastated. She needs stability and consistency. Something our parents never gave us and if moving 1300 miles away from home is what gives her that then I am more than happy to start senior year at a different school.
I shoot him a smirk, raising an eyebrow at him. “Someonehas to keep an eye on you.”
He chuckles, shaking his head in astonishment. “I guess you’re right. I still can’t believe you’re about to be a senior. And damn, like… Reese is in middle school. Wasn’t she just seven yesterday?”
We both sigh as we stare at each other. We went through a lot together. I was only twelve and he was fifteen when our mom died. We raised Reese together, even though we were kids ourselves. We had the help of a nanny sure but for the most part, where it mattered, Reese relied on us. She wasn’t a difficult kid but because it had always been the three of us, Stephen and I wanted more for her than the scraps of time he and I got from our parents growing up. I think in a way we were overcompensating for them, hoping Reese doesn’t grow up as lonely as he and I did. So we do everything together and honestly we love it. We’ve managed to outgrow our pain and have a better relationship than most siblings probably do. We have each other and that’s enough.
Now, she’s basically the same age I was when Mama died. I don’t know how to feel about that. If I’m being honest, I’m a little worried about being in college next year while she navigates her teenage years. I’ve been thinking about deferring for a while, given I don’t even know what I want to study. I have yet to figure out how to broach the subject with Stephen, because I know he’d rather sacrifice his future for mine.
He’s even mentioned a few times that he could always switch to Business Management or Finance instead of pursuing medicine so he can be at home more. But then that would mean working for dad in the future.
Like I said, he’s selfless.
“Are you sure? You’re doing the constipated face thing you do when you’re overthinking.”
“In my defense, I’m always overthinking.” I plop down on the bed facing him.
He nudges my leg with his. “I’m serious, Ace. I’m worried. School is going to get really hectic for me. It won’t be the same. I’m not going to be around much.”
I nod again, because he’s right. “This iswhywe moved Stephen. At least this way we’re not a thousand miles away from you if we need you.” I pat his knee. “You deserve this. You’ve been talking about UCSD for so long. There is no way Reese and I would have been happy if you put that on hold for us. We’re good. We’ll be okay here.”
He stares at me for a beat as if needing the added reassurance. I hold his gaze until he realizes I’m not backing down.
“I’m going to go check on Reese. Are you ready to go in, like thirty?”
I shoot him a thumbs up and tug my thick and wavy black hair up into a high ponytail. I need a haircut. I let my hair grow out since it was cooler in Washington. Now that I’m in San Diego, I could use a shorter and more manageable style for this warm weather. Because damn, it feels like an oven here.
Seemingly satisfied with my response, he swings his legs around me and gets up. He takes a lingering look around my room, smiling to himself as he walks out the door.
I fan the back of my neck and look around my room. Besides a few of my books, everything is already put away and set up, but I need a few more things. I grab my phone and open my notes app.
I tap open the note where I had been making a list of things the three of us needed to get when we went shopping for school supplies and add portable air conditioners. Sure, we have centralized cooling and heating but for a house as big as ours, I’d hate to waste energy when we don’t even occupy half this house.