Page 32 of Honest With You

“Yes?” It ends up sounding like a question because I have no idea where she’s going with this.

“He’s Lucas Torres. LiketheLucas Torres.”

“I’m still not following, Ava…”

“We live in San Diego. A two hour drive from my dad’s studios. You said so yourself-you dated this model influencer and by default you gained the notoriety that came with it. And now, you can’t even be friends with the new girl without it being a big deal. What do you think is going to happen when the kids in school find out I’m his daughter?”

I know, Ava. She’s a private person, so all the attention that would come with the kids at school knowing she’s basically Hollywood royalty isn't something she wants. Somehow it feels like there’s something else she’s not saying. Something else that is making her keep me at arm's length. Several times tonight, she faltered. She let me hold her hand, touch her like she was mine and then a switch would go off, and she would keep her distance again.

“I don’t want people to be friends with me just because of who my dad is. Only for them to stop being my friend when they find out I’m not even close with my dad.”

There’s a flicker of hurt in her eyes that she quickly masks. She gathers our trash up in her arms before jumping up and stalking to the trash can a few feet away, depositing it there. Her back is to me and I watch as she folds her arms and looks out at the view. She’s rubbing her arms as the cold of the night drops a few more degrees. I suspect it’s past midnight now, but because I left both our phones in the console of the car, I can't be too sure.

I rise to my feet and slowly make my way to her, stopping just behind her. My hands go to her shoulders as I gently turn her to face me. I tower over her small frame by at least a foot. With a finger, I tip her chin up so I can look her in the eyes.

“Ava. I promise you I won’t tell a single soul who your dad is. I don’t care who he is.” I bend my knees, leaning in close enough that our noses almost touch. “But I also want you to understand that I do not give a single fuck about what anyone thinks or says. Ilikeyou. I want to get to know you. As a friend. As more.”

My eyes zero in on her lips and before I can even talk myself out of it, I'm tilting my head and closing in. Our lips brush in the softest of touches. It lasts a fraction of a second but she shivers from the contact and my arms go around her instinctively, pulling her close until our bodies are pressed against each other.

I’m about to go back in for a real kiss when her hand comes up to my chest. I pull back enough that I can see her face.

“We can’t…”

She takes a few steps back, until she’s out of my arms.

I think about reaching for her again but she already said no and consent is important.

“Ava?”

“Jesse, it’s really late and I don’t think there’s enough time to talk about how us dating isn’t a good idea starting with the fact that I wouldn’t even know how to be what you need.”

I open my mouth to refute it but then she looks away and whispers.

“Ryder asked me out. I told him I would think about it.”

My hands fall and clench into fists at my sides.

She said no to me and maybe to him.

“Let me take you home, Ava.”

The ride home is quiet and filled with tension.

Jesse’s face is taut with frustration, his hands wrapped tight around his steering wheel and his knuckles are white.

I feel so guilty, even though I know I shouldn’t. Ryder asked me last week before Jesse and I even talked again today. I was under the impression Jesse had given up on pursuing me and now I don’t know how to fix this.

He accomplished what he set out to do which, if I was hazarding a guess, was simply to remind me of how good it had been between us.

Of how it still is.

We understand each other in a way that no one else can.

But it’s also scary. Terrifying. Fragile.

I want the friendship. He wants more.

And okay… there have been times when I felt myself falter and want him in ways I shouldn’t. I’ve thought about exploring this to see where it goes but then what?

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