Page 16 of Honest With You

I barely have a relationship with my dad as it is.

The last thing I need is another reason to be awkward around my own father.

I can see it now:

Dating Jesse will inevitably go bad due to my lackluster dating experience.

Jesse will lose interest in me and then it will be uncomfortable for both our families.

It just isn’t a good look for either one of us if, or ratherwhen,this blows over.

I don’t want to risk losing Jesse either when we get along really well as friends.

I don’t have a lot of those.

I selfishly want him around because he makes me feel good and I enjoy being around him.

I get to focus on just talking to someone who gets me and makes me laugh.

Someone who I think genuinely cares about how I’m doing, what I’m thinking.

Someone who not just hears what I’m saying but genuinely listens.

I can just be me… and notAva Torres. Whoever that is.

I don’t have that in my life, outside of Reese and Stephen. And even then, I shy away from telling my siblings exactly how I feel and think.

With Jesse, it just comes out naturally. I don’t feel the need to sugarcoat or hide away.

For the first time in my life, I’m actually wanted by someone and not just needed.

And that’s really the most important reason we can’t be anything other than friends. I like him too much to jeopardize that or potentially lose him.

Now that he’s back in my life. I want to keep him there.

Vanessa clears her throat, bringing me back and I startle when I realize she’s pointedly staring at me because my phone is buzzing nonstop.

Again and again… andagain?

I cringe, when I see her lift an eyebrow, her eyes flicking to my back pocket and then to me. She stops mid-walk, even though we’re a few feet away from our lockers. She was talking about the party I missed out on and the argument she had with Dean when some girl was all over him.

Last thing I remember her saying was that she met someone at another party, and I think she might have said Dean groveled yesterday. Then Jesse texted me a selfie with that damn pout and I lost track of everything she was saying after that.

“Ava.”

I hum, pursing my lips while I wait for Vanessa to continue. I try to muster an innocent-looking expression on my face but I know I’m not pulling it off when she crosses her arms.

“Sooo... Are you and Dean okay now?”

“Nuh uh, nice try. What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?” I walk over to my locker, hoping she goes to hers and drops it.

I swallow a groan when she follows me to mine instead.

“You’ve been out of it since breakfast. You’re hiding something. I thought we were friends.”

“That’s because you made me eat an avocado toast.”

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