Page 35 of Glad You Exist

Kyle shakes his head as he stretches and pulls Kim to his side. “I got the pass to skip practice today.”

Kim pulls her legs out from under her and snuggles closer to Kyle. “We got…”

Her response gets cut off when the Vital Signs monitor hooked up to my mom starts beeping loudly.That can’t be good.

I shoot to my feet and run over to my mom and Dan runs out, yelling for help.

Within seconds, I feel Brad next to me. I’m trying to read the monitor but can’t make sense of it—it’s all blurring together.Is she flatlining?

My knees start to shake as the panic starts to rise in me. I climb onto the bed and check the cannula, her IV lines, and even her pulse. I can’t find anything wrong.

Everything seems to be hooked up correctly.

I can feel her breath coming out of her nose. It’s shallow but she’s breathing.

I check her pulse again; it’s faint but it’s there.

“Mom? Mom. Mom. Mom.” I can feel my eyes stinging with unshed tears, but I can’t let them fall. I need to be strong for her. I edge closer to her and place my palms on her cheeks. “Mom. What is it? What’s going on? Mom. Open your eyes. Mom PLEASE.”

I can hear the nurse’s crash cart rolling into the room and the sound of footsteps closing in from behind. I hear Dan yell at me to get off the bed. But I vehemently shake my head. I grasp my mom’s hands and find them cold as ice.Is she cold? That’s it. She’s cold.

I pull the covers up to her chin but then I feel Brad wrap an arm around my waist trying to lift me off the bed, but I resist.

I am not moving from here.

Not until my mother wakes up.

Not until that damned machine stops beeping like crazy.

Not until she stabilizes.

But I’m not strong enough to resist when both my brother and Brad pull me off the bed.

Dan sets me on my feet. He bends down to look at me. My eyes are jumping around the room following the nurses and doctors who have run in.

“We need to let them do their job Liz.”

I nod. I can only nod. Why is he socalm?How can he be so calm?

I tear my eyes away from his and look over at Mom.

But I barely catch a glimpse of her behind the sets of shoulders surrounding her.

Is this it?

A frantic Aunt Rose comes running into the room and Dan goes to meet her. They speak in hushed tones, but I don’t try to insert myself there.

I’m hanging by a thread. I am so close to a break down. I can feel it.

I might lose my mom today.

My lips start to quiver and a sob escapes in a tremble. Every part of me starts to shudder.

I feel Brad’s hands curl around my shoulders, and I let him lead me to the couch.

Kim pulls me down next to her and Brad hunkers down in front of me.

I lean my forehead on Brad’s shoulder. He slings an arm around me and cradles me in.

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