Page 117 of Glad You Exist

“I’m—”

She cuts me off with a slight shake of her head. She needs to say something first.

I shut up.

I let my gaze rake over her once again and feel my heart almost burst out of my chest.

"I saw the video, Brad. I loved it. I—I don’t know how you do it, but you always know what I want. What I need. I can’t believe you did all that for me.”

“I’d do anything for you.” My throat goes dry. “What else do you want? Need?"

"You." No hesitation in her voice. Just purpose.

I take a step towards her, and her free hand comes up to clutch her chest. She takes a deep breath and then smiles at me, the force of it stopping me in my tracks.

"I love you, Brad. I love you so much that it consumes me sometimes. Leaves me breathless. Speechless." One side of her mouth quirks up, “Unable to say it out loud.”

"El…"

Her eyes start to water, her lips quivering at the sound of her nickname. With that, I feel the hurt leave me as the weight of what I've done to her takes up more space.

"I'm sorry I didn't say it before. Just know that I felt it each and every time you said it. I"—she visibly swallows—"I don't even remember a time when I wasn't in love with you."

I take another step up the stairs to meet her. Only a few feet separate us now and we’re almost at eye level. There is so much I want to say but I know she has to get all of this off her chest.Finally. She’s letting me all the way in.

"It's just the last person I said that to was my mom...right before she flatlined." She shuts her eyes for the briefest of moments, "I know it's an irrational fear, but it's been hard. Scary, even, but I do love you and you're worth the risk. Worth the pain."

I bridge the remaining gap between us.

"I'm sorry I've been distant. I've just been trying to stay busy to keep from missing mom. With her birthday coming up, and now my dad’s engaged…it's a lot."

I gently cup her face and she visibly sags in relief.

"I'm scared of being overwhelmed. I was just trying to hang on. For me. For you. For us. I didn't mean for you to feel like you didn't matter... because honestly I feel like sometimes, you're the only thing that does."

My other hand wraps around her waist and I pull her in for a hug.

"I'm sorry baby, I messed up too. Worse because I hurt you. Please tell me you'll let me make it up to you."

She leans back enough so I can see her face, “You don’t need to make anything up to me. I forgive you; I hope you can forgive me too for keeping my feelings from you.”

I kiss her forehead. “We’ll make mistakes. We’ll hurt each other but let’s not do this again, okay? Let’s stop hiding and running away from each other.”

She nods and her features soften even more as one of her hands touches the lapels of my tux.

Liz’s eyes travel a path on me from head to toe, “You look so handsome.”

“Like Prince Charming?”

She laughs and everything is right again.

“No. Better.” She rises a little, giving me a soft kiss.

“What’s that?” I pull her close, my arm wrapped around her waist.

“You.”

I kiss her temple and resist the urge to pull her in even closer, so I don’t ruin her makeup. My mom will kill me if I didn’t get any decent pictures tonight.

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