Page 95 of Glad You Exist

“Liz is going to melt with how hot you’re staring at her right now.”

Kim bumps my knee with the Truly she's drinking. I frown down at her.

I’m on the armchair by the fire, alternating between watching everyone do their thing and the tv. Kim’s next to me, on the floor with her collection of beads and strings.

I look back at the animated movie playing on the TV.

We still have a collection of VHS tapes and DVDs here.

The four of us have decided to lean into nostalgia tonight and watch our favorite movies from when we were growing up while we sort of sober up. Liz insisted on watching Rugrats and popped in the orange VHS tape. She reminded us of that one Halloween where the four of us dressed up as the characters. Not surprisingly, she is still mildly obsessed with the 90s cartoon show. She’s even wearing Reptar socks on her feet tonight.

Yup, we’re all just killing time until one of us breaks.

“Are you calling me hot Kimmy?”

“Ew. No.” Kim rolls her eyes, “I'm begging you to spare me from seeing you shooting bedroom eyes at Liz.” She shudders for dramatic effect, “You’re like my brother. Just gross.”

I tip my beer at her and down the rest of it, smirking.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Liz rise taking the phone with her. She’s going out to talk to her brother on the patio. I completely missed what just happened.

I lookover at Kyle who’s now hunched over on the couch, staring at his beer. A complete one-eighty from the guy who was just joking around with his sister.

“Everything okay, man?”

Kyle blinks, jerking his head like he’s trying to shake a thought out.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking about old times, you know?"

"Like what, babe?" Kim shifts beside me to face us while still making work on the bracelet she’s making for Liz.

Kyle shrugs. The look on his face gives it away. His jaw is set like he wants to say something but he’s unsure how to begin the conversation.

I exchange worried looks with Kim. I guess Kyle is starting us off.

Kim sets her beads aside, not taking her eyes off Kyle.

I lean my elbows on my knees, my hands folded between them, preparing myself.

Liz chooses that moment to walk back in. She stops mid-walk when she sees the looks on our faces. She quietly takes a seat next to Kyle, sitting with her legs folded under her.

Liz reaches over to touch Kyle's arm. "What's going through that mind of yours?"

He spares her a quick glance smiling a little but his hold on his beer bottle tightens.

"I just fucking missed all of this. All you guys."

I hear Kim blow out a slow breath beside me. From the looks of it, she knows where Kyle is going with this. It's something they've talked about before with each other.

Liz moves as if to offer Kyle a hug, but he stops her with a gentle hand on her knee.

"Let me get this out." He shares a look with Kim who gives him a reassuring smile.

"I always felt like it was my job to watch over you guys."

I open my mouth to object, and he shakes his head at me, "Even you B. Obviously I fucked it up. I was too focused on making the team back then to argue over the merits of us suddenly not being friends anymore. Then when I did make the team, I made it my life. Turned my back on ten years of friendship like a jackass."

Kim hugs her knees to her chest. Her chin rests on top of them like she’s trying to hold herself together. I extend a hand to her. With a grateful squeeze, she takes it, in her own way offering me her support.

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