Page 86 of Glad You Exist

Deep and full of promise.

He’s giving me everything. Confessing his feelings for me, loving me in it.

My head explodes. I swear fireworks explode behind my eyelids. I see stars.

If I hadn't experienced it myself, I would have never been privy to this. I would have blindly gone through life not knowing what I’ve been missing.

Never in my life will I ever scoff at another romance novel mentioning that ever again.

It happens. It's happening to me.

Panic starts building up inside me knowing that when this ends at some point, I will lie awake at night because of it. The realization of having been so blind to what’s been right in front of me. Desperation makes me cling to him.

Sensing my turmoil triggers him to break it.

Brad leans his forehead on mine.

I feel his eyes bore into me. I open mine and meet his.

Instantly I calm down.

Where there was panic, now there’s peace.

Contentment replaces loneliness.

I hear a lock click into place inside me.

Finally safe. Finally secure. Exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Warmth takes up residence in that big hole inside me. Where I once felt hollow and empty, I am now whole. My cracks are filled with the rightness of us.

This was what was missing this whole time.

I just needed to open my eyes.

"I seeyou."

With a soft smile, he lifts his head and brushes my hair off my shoulders.

He whispers, "Finally."

* * *

“A little to the left.There. Raise it half an inch. Okay. That’s perfect.”

I can’t contain the squeal that comes out as I do a half-jump. I clap my hands in approval.

I take a step back to admire the Christmas lights that my boyfriend has finished putting up on the rooflines of my house and to appreciate the view of Brad coming down the ten-foot ladder he brought with him to help me put all this up.

Boyfriend. I’m still reeling from the fact that I get to call him that and that I’m hisgirlfriend.

Brad looks over his shoulder and winks. He knows I’ve been checking him out. He moves the ladder to the other side of the house to adjust the lights there to match what he just did.

The last few weeks have flown by in a blur with Thanksgiving and midterms. It was like I blinked, and somehow December was halfway over. I had completely forgotten about Christmas. It wasn’t until my friends dragged me to the mall yesterday to replace my phone that I saw the decorations and trees everywhere.

Mom usually had our house set up for Christmas right after Halloween. I intended to continue her traditions, but I had been so preoccupied that I had even forgotten to put up the Halloween decorations. I know Dan would have done it, but he had been so busy with school that he was only home enough to sleep and shower. Any free time he had was dedicated to Summer. She had all but moved in with us already.

When we were up at Lola’s house for Thanksgiving, Dan asked me if I was okay with her moving in. I was so taken aback that it took me a few minutes to blurt out that I thought she already had.

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