Page 77 of Glad You Exist

It’s the faintest of whispers but I feel it in every bone in my body.

Liz is looking at me like I’m the only person in the world. With all the softness and affection, I’ve always associated with her. Tilting her head, she gives me that smile that I know she reserves just for me.

“You’ve always been home to me.”

I feel her lips touch my cheek in the most tender way, her breath fanning my face.

She’s back in her seat by the time I can breathe again.

Taking my hand, she places it on the gear shifter.

She buckles herself in. “Where do you want to go?”

Running a hand through my hair, trying to think of anything except the warmth of her on my cheek, I put my seatbelt on. Checking the time, I realize we don’t have much time before the dinner we have both been summoned to, so I opt for the safest option to avoid being late.

Ichuck a grape at Brad who catches it with his mouth. He winks at me before going back to work on his computer. I set the empty bowl on the floor and nestle myself back on to the pillows, feeling more comfortable than I have in a long time.

About a half hour ago, Brad was in the middle of showing me the game he was working on when he found a glitch. So now I’m sitting in the alcove in his room, reading on my Kindle.

I’m trying to focus on the words in front of me but ever since the tense conversation that happened in Principal Gardner’s office and the sweet way Brad took care of me after in the car, I’ve been having a hard time concentrating.

When we got to his house, my nerves got the best of me. I did everything I could to stall our impending conversation. First, I dragged him to the kitchen where I sliced and washed every piece of fruit I could find. Then I challenged him to a round of scrabble which he won. The bookworm in me is still having a hard time dealing with that.

Then we did homework but since he is as meticulous as I am, we barely had much to do so I convinced him to show me his game.

I can tell by the amused way the corner of his mouth tilted up that he knew I was stalling but he let me. So maybe I’m not the only one who’s nervous about all this.

In the car earlier, when he asked me to let him be my refuge, everything that had happened up to that point just melted away. All the stress from Hunter, fear of falling apart, and thoughts of my mom got pushed back to the recesses of my mind while Brad edged himself front and center.

I felt instantly calm. Safe.

But I didn’t know how to say that to him or express how I feel because I have never not felt this way about him. How do I explain when I couldn’t even put it into words myself?

All I think about and feel when I look at him ishome. So, I said that.

I feel it coming though. Sensing it in the way his leg has started bouncing. In the frequency of his stolen glances my way. Even though the silence is comfortable between us, he’s itching to talk to me but doesn’t want to push which makes me feel guilty for putting it off.

I tuck my E-reader behind me. I wrap my arms around my legs, resting my chin on my knees, giving him my undivided attention. Brad’s thick brows meet in concentration while his long fingers practically fly across his keyboard as he types away, similar to the way my mom’s would when she was writing one of her books and she was in the groove.

I wish she was here to help me put how I feel into words. She was good at that. Finding the right words to best convey even the trickiest of feelings like she often did with her characters.

Feeling the weight of my stare, Brad stiffens then looks up, and a thoughtful expression crosses his face before he rises and crosses the room to me.

He crawls into the alcove with me, easing my legs on his lap.

“El. I think we’ve done enough avoiding, don’t you?”

The weight of that question settles in me like a cement block.

“Six years?” I blurt out. It’s been floating around in my head ever since Kim let it slip.

Groaning, he looks down at my legs, tucking them closer to him like he’s afraid I’ll run away.

“Sixth grade. Evan Hudson.”

I choke on my spit. Evan Hudson?

I have not thought about that Zac Efron-lookalike in a long time. Pretty sure he moved to Oregon after middle school. What did he have to do…?

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