Page 106 of Glad You Exist

Her sharp intake of breath cuts through me and I know I have taken it too far. She drops her phone on the bed beside me and stalks towards her dresser. She starts rummaging through a drawer before resting her forehead on it with a sigh.

“Let’s just…can we not fight please?”

“I’m not—”

She cuts me off. “I had a really bad night, Brad. I don’t need this.” She rakes a shaky hand through her hair, pulling it into a ponytail. “Not from you. I just—”

It’s my turn to cut her off as I stand, “Not from me? You don’t think I had a crappy night too? And an even crappier morning when I woke up to find that you never got back to me? That I waited hours for you to show up and you never did? And I come here only to find that you were here this whole time, and you couldn’t be bothered to at least let your boyfriend know that you were okay?”

“Brad, I—”

Liz takes a step towards me, and I hold my hands up to stop her.

“What are we even doing, El?”

Her eyes grow wide as her gaze roams my face. “What—what do you mean?”

I wave a hand between us and say nothing. I’m all talked out.

I’m just tired of this. So close to just throwing my hands up and giving up.

“Brad. What are you saying?”

I scrub a hand down my face and shake my head. The sheer will it’s taking to simply stand here is proving too much for me to handle, “I don’t know.”

She takes a slow, steady breath. Her panic sets in.

“Can we…can we do something else? Let me just change and we can head out? I—I… um…yeah let me just grab some clothes. I’ll be quick.”

She turns back to her dresser but I’m already making my way to her door.

“I think I’m just going to leave now.”

“Brad…” She’s crossing the room to me, and it takes huge effort for me to even look at her and acknowledge the tears in her eyes. “Please talk to me.”

I shake my head again, not even bothering to disguise the irony in my voice.

“I already tried doing that.”

“Please stay.” She’s standing in front of me now, her fingers clenching like she wants to touch me. I told her before that I was hers to touch. Even now, she still doesn’t believe it. Still doesn’t believe in us. Now, I don’t even know if I believe it anymore.

There are a million things I want to say to her. I want to lash out and tell her how much she’s hurt me by not taking what I have given her.

By not letting me in all the way. By not telling me she loves me.

I do none of that. Instead, I let my gaze sweep her one last time.

“I’ll see you at school, Lizzy.”

“Please tell me I’m overreacting. That he didn’t break up with me.”

Kim bites her lip and exchanges looks with Kyle.

“He called me Lizzy and we haven’t spoken indays.”

I bury my face in my hands. I can hear the panic rising in my voice again and I fight to gain control. I've been on edge since Saturday after Brad walked out on me. After a few seconds of shock, I followed him only to find him already gone. He didn't go home or answer any of my calls all weekend. The past few days, it became increasingly obvious he was actively avoiding me at school on top of ignoring my calls and messages. I finally gave up, cornered him today and he just muttered something about a prom meeting which turned out to be an excuse. Kim is already sitting here with me in my room and she’s on the prom committee with him. Obviously, it wasn’t a long meeting.

He could be here with me now. Or anywhere. He needs to know what happened and I need to understand how we ended up like this. I know I messed up by not going to him and showing up for our date. I honestly wasn’t thinking about anything but trying to numb the hurt I felt when Dad proposed to Olivia.

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