Page 102 of Glad You Exist

"Don't worry about it,” Kyle says. “I came out last night to check on you guys and put the fire out. It’s blazing again. I cleaned the living room just now too."

“Stop reading my fucking mind.”

“Don’t be so obvious about it then.” He tosses me an apple, “Also eat this. You shouldn’t drink coffee on an empty stomach, and I don’t know how long the girls will be in there.”

I take a bite of the apple even though I don’t want to; just something for me to do while I wait for Liz. “Did Liz seem okay?”

Kyle frowned, “Areyouokay?”

I level him with a look, but he just quirks an eyebrow at me, waiting.

I rub my eyes with my palms, “Honestly, I don’t know.”

“You need to get over it.”

My hands slam on the bar with more force than I intend them to. Before I know it, I’m on my feet and chucking the half-eaten apple in the trash.

Kyle holds his palms out but like a man with a death wish he comes to stand across from me, setting his hands down on the bar.

“Sit your ass down Brad and listen before the girls come out.”

I sit down because I’m fucking tired and not because he told me to.

I glare at him, “She almost died, asshole.”

“She didn’t.”

“She could—”

“Shut up and listen.”

My fists clench involuntarily but I remain silent and seated.

“Before that, tell me one thing and be honest about it, okay?”

I jerk my head in response.

“If she were to feel that way again, what do you think are the chances she’d tell you?”

My body tenses. I sit upright and look away.

Zero.

Even though we’ve fallen right back into our friendship and progressed into lovers. She wouldn’t come to me. I know it in my gut. She’s too aware of how I’m programmed when it comes to her…and I would freak out very much like I did last night. I fumbled that.

Fuck, I messed that up.

Kyle sighs and I force myself to look back at him.

“Look. I know you two have this whole new dynamic and maybe I’m overstepping but I told her she could come to me.” He expels another breath, his brow furrowing in determination. “She has to be able to go to someone without feeling guilty about it.”

I nod. It makes sense but my chest tightens and hurt pierces through me at not being able to be that person for her.

Get over it.

“I get it.” I grip my mug again and take a healthy sip. “I’ll work on it, okay?”

“I’m being hard on you but we all thoroughly fucked up this friendship. I’m not doing that again. I’m here now. What do you need?”

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