Page 19 of Revenge Honeymoon

Salvage this screw up, Em.Oh, crap fix it now.

Max sat as if he were a deer on the highway at midnight, and Emily had just driven up over the rise in her pickup truck with the brights on.

“I’m bi.” What else could her answer be? “Yep, totally bisexual. I swing both ways. Some days it’s lipstick and skirts I’m after, the next it’s loafers and aftershave.” Her attempt at swallowing her lasagna turned into a duel between her esophagus and her gag reflex.

“I see.” Max pushed his plate away, then he scanned the dining room as if to find some escape from the nutjob couple he’d found himself saddled with for the next half hour.

Ruby sighed. “It’s okay, Em. You can tell him.” She patted her best friend on the arm.

“Really?” Emily’s shoulders slumped. How could she have failed at her one mission on this cruise in a single day?

Worst. Friend. Ever.

“Really.” The former bride gave her a wan smile.

Did Ruby know she’d fail so quickly? Did Ruby expect eventually she’d have to own up to her situation?

“Tell me what?” Max asked.

A server had arrived at the table most likely summoned by the panicked look on Max’s face. That ‘get me out of here please’ kind of look that some men only use in the worst circumstances: like when his mother talks about childbirth in detail at the family reunion or his girlfriend asks him to retrieve tampons from the next aisle over.

“Sir? Would you like to order your dessert?” The server stood at the ready with an iPad in his hand and a selection stylus perfectly positioned to record whether or not Max wanted bread pudding, peach pie, or the triple brownie sundae.

If he didn’t choose the triple brownie sundae, he must be a serial killer because triple brownie sundae was the only right answer. The only one.

Ruby must’ve realized that Emily’s chunk of lasagna had not yet decided if it was coming back up or going down and stepped up to the plate. “We aren’t lesbians.”

Max swallowed.

Was that a good swallow or a bad swallow? Was goodness or badness even an adjective to modify a swallow? Did Emily even care? No. No, she did not.

“Sir?” The server leaned over the table. “Your order?”

“Hold on,” Max addressed him. “Give us a minute.”

The server frowned and took a step back from the table.

Max tilted his head and slid his gaze from Ruby to Emily, examining them thoroughly. “You mean to tell me you two booked a honeymoon cruise, and you aren’t even married?”

“Yes, that would seem rather strange, wouldn’t it?” Emily’s lasagna had decided to go down, so she was able to speak once more. “Two single,straight—” she emphasized the word ‘straight’ as if her life depended upon it, “—best friends who wanted to take a cheap cruise to Mexico. Yep, you got it, here for the bargain. Two cheapos trying to have a nice vacay together.” Emily did not miss a beat, turned to the server and said, “I’ll have the triple brownie sundae, please.”

“Me, too,” Max said in a bit of a daze. He shook his head several times.

“I’ll have the peach pie,” Ruby said.

Outrageous. Emily would have to let her friend know she gave off a serious serial killer-y vibe for sure by choosing the pie. Who chose pie when chocolate was available?

“Anyway,” continued Emily in a crazy rush of words. “I’d like to propose, since we are likely the only three single people on this cruise—”

The server cleared his throat.

“With the exception of the cruise employees, of course.” Emily made a flourish with her hand and a nod of her head in some royal fashion that she thought was appropriate for the occasion. “That the three of us should continue to be dining partners for the rest of the cruise.”

Another of the serving staff appeared to clear away their plates and reset the table for dessert with a tiny fork and a massive spoon apparently made only for the eating of ice cream.

Max sat silently for a moment, staring straight at Emily and making her a little too warm under his gaze. “I will agree to that if you promise me one thing.”

“Fine, yes, we promise,” Emily said. But she would promise gorgeous Max almost anything.

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