Page 42 of The Lone Wolf's Bride

He narrowed his eyes and Ilene was reminded of a mad dog she had once encountered.

‘Why not choose some other young fool, Ilene? There are plenty at Cailleach who you could lead a merry dance I am sure.’

‘I don’t trust any of them in the way I trust you. I have always felt safe with you.’

Anger twisted his face at these last words.

‘And Morag selected me as an easy target didn’t she?’

Ilene could not hide the shock from her face.

‘You two planned all this carefully, didn’t you? Tell me, when did you start your seduction? How soon after Aidan abandoned you? Were there others you tried to snare before I fell into your trap?’ He grabbed her wrist in his hard hand and challenged her to lie to him. ‘Tell me.’

Ilene looked down at the floor and tears welled in her eyes. ‘When you and my father had that fight at Gillies Tavern and I helped you, and there were no others, Murray.’

He flung her wrist away. ‘So every look I ever got from you was a lie and all those kind words…What a fool I’ve been.’ He put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. ‘You had me stand under that tree in the rain, declaring how I felt about you. You even pressed me for words of love and all the time you were laughing at me.’

‘It was not like that Murray,’ she said gently. ‘You said that you didn’t expect me to love you.’

‘Aye, I did but at the very least, I expected honesty or some measure of loyalty. Or was that too much to ask?’

‘Aunt Morag said you would never be wounded by it, as you would never know. She said you would think the child was yours and be happy about it.’

‘Then you really are a naïve fool, aren’t you? Men have a way of knowing whether or not they are the first Ilene.’

‘But she said…’

‘She knew there was a chance I would find out that you were not a virgin. She knew what would happen if I did, and still, your dear aunt threw you to the wolves didn’t she?’ Ilene could not meet his eye. ‘You will look at me,’ he commanded.

When she met his gaze, the anguish she saw in it made Ilene realise, for the first time, just how very deeply she had hurt him.

‘Did I revolt you when I kissed you, when I touched you? Did you have to force yourself to let me?’ he snarled.

‘No, of course not, it was not like that at all. Murray, please listen to me. I have always cared for you and we have always gotten along, that is why I turned to you. If I have repaid your kindness with deceit, then I am so very sorry for it and would beg your forgiveness.’

‘I have been your fool these past weeks,’ he said, looking away and shaking his head, ‘and the worst of it is I still am.’

Ilene got on her knees before him. ‘It is I who has been a fool. I thought I loved Aidan and that he loved me in return, so I threw away my honour, foolishly, to someone who didn’t deserve it.’ Her voice broke into a sob. ‘What I did…in truth I took no pleasure in it. It felt wrong when I did it, I felt ashamed afterwards but I thought that was how I should feel. I’ve been so stupid.’

Ilene wanted Murray to understand and, selfishly, she wanted him to comfort her and ease her pain. She was too caught up in her own torment to fully see his, and so she blundered on.

‘Morag told me that if my father found out, there would be a fight with the Grants that might end in Aidan’s death and I could not risk that or the clan being dragged down for my mistake. So I have tried to do the right thing and protect them, you must see that.’

‘It is one thing to lie to me Ilene, but quite another to lie to yourself. You must face up to what you have done here. You have taken the coward’s way out of your troubles, and even now you will not own to it. You deceived me into marriage to spare yourself the shame of bearing a bastard. Aidan used you, and when he cast you aside, you had to settle for second best.’

‘You are not second best.’

‘If that is so, then why am I here now, with an unchaste bride, who is in love with another man?’

‘I do not love him, Murray, truly. In fact, part of me hates him now.’

He laughed, bitterly. ‘Of course you do, your affections are fickle aren’t they, Ilene? One day you are in love with one man, the next another! So it would seem that all this pain you have caused is for nought, as it wasn’t even in the name of love. Still, it is settled now, we are wed, and it cannot be undone.’

‘If you hate me so much perhaps it can. We did not…the marriage was not properly consummated…I mean, in the eyes of God and the law. Perhaps it can be overturned if you so wish. I would not trap you into this, I will return to Cailleach, confess everything to my father and take the consequences.’

‘And risk your clan going to war with the Grants, no, that cannot happen. In this regard, at least, you are right, so, for now, your lover will go unpunished.’ There was an implacable look of hatred on his face, a quiet resolve in his words.

‘As to the marriage being properly consummated, I will have to take care of that in due course,’ he said, ominously, as if it was some tiresome duty he needed to dispense with. ‘The marriage will stand my love, for you made your deal with the devil, and now you must dance to his tune.’

---