Page 7 of Paging Dr. Douche

"I'm sorry, what were we saying? Oh, yeah... Hobbies." He picks up the conversation right where we left off.

"Yeah, what do you like to do for fun?"

"Well, I'll be honest with you, I'm more of a home body type. Some of my friends try to get me to go out for escape rooms and things like that, but I'd rather stay home and watch TV. I go to the gym occasionally and if there's any special events in town I'll maybe hit that up. I've lived here for so long, there's really not much that excites me anymore." He says and spears a piece of his steak to put to his mouth.

"I get that, I guess that's one of the reasons I love my job. I can be in one state one day and another state the next. I'm never lacking excitement." I chuckle, but it quickly dies away when his phone rings again. He pulls the small device out of his pocket and gets the same look on his face. Subdued annoyance.

"Um, is everything okay, Gary?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow at him, needing to make sure that I'm not about to help someone commit adultery.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. It's my mother, she's a little lonely with me out on a date." He laughs and answers the phone, rattling off a few answers to his mother that quickly end whatever conversation they're having.

The red flags in my mind start to shoot up, and I shove the food around my plate as disappointment tries to curl up in my gut. "Your mom, huh? You two really close?" I ask.

"Oh yeah. I'm her baby. She does everything for me. It gets old after a while, but what can you do, she's mom." He shrugs and puts the phone on the table, obviously expecting that he's going to need to pick it up again.

"Yeah, I get that. So, does she live close by, or...?" I leave my question opened ended, afraid of the answer.

He takes another bite of steak, "Mm hmm. We live together. Once she got up in age, I didn't see the need to leave only to have to move back again."

No, there's's no way he's saying what I think he's saying.

"You mean, you've never moved out of your house?"

"Nope, I've had the same room since I was a baby. It's cool." He says proudly, and I give him a polite smile.

I can't believe it. This forty eight year old man is still living with his mommy. As he continues to talk, I can basically feel my libido putting up out of the office signs and my vagina drying up like the Sahara desert.

After talking a few more minutes, I find out not only does Gary still live at home with his mother, but she still makes him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She schedules his doctor's appointments. He doesn't have a job and got extra funds making money off in game item scavenger hunts. Basically, he'd find rare game loot and sell them to the highest bidder. As if this fucked up sundae needed a cherry topper, he had no ambition whatsoever to change any of this.

I don't understand how a grown man could be this ... childish.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. No matter how sex deprived I am, there was no way I could ever sleep with him and enjoy myself. I put down enough money to cover the check and the tip, letting him know that I wasn't feeling too great and didn't want to throw up all over him. If he kept on talking, that's probably exactly what I was going to do.

At nine forty five on what was supposed to be the night to break my sexual dry spell, I end up walking back into my RV with nothing more than aching feet and the taste of house wine in my mouth.

"Such a waste of time." I mutter to myself as I kick off my shoes angrily and go to my fridge. I groan in relief when I pull out a good bottle of wine.

I lock up my door to make sure I'm safe for the night and proceed to undress. I sigh when the pretty sundress hits the floor. I'm going to have to find another occasion to wear this one out.

After pouring myself a glass of wine, I go back into my bedroom and dig in my closet for Bobby, or my battery-operated-boyfriend, and toss him on the bed to wait for me. Bobby always comes through when I need him.

If I'm going to come tonight at all, it'll be by my own hands.

Once again, I look around my RV and a deep feeling of loneliness washes over me, I really thought tonight was the night.

"Enough of that. You don't need a man to make you feel good. Besides, no one gets you worked up like Bobby, anyway." I mutter to myself, taking a sip of wine.

My hands reach back for the vibrator, but before I can grab it, my phone goes off on the little nightstand.

I grab it, checking the notification. It's an email from my nursing agency. They have a four-month contract available for me if I want it in a small town in Delaware called Grand River. I check the map directions quickly and realize that it's only eight hours away from where I am now, I could be there as early as two days from now

I've never been to this hospital, but I'm sure it's no different from the countless others I've worked in.

After reading over the preliminary terms, I accept the assignment and toss my phone to the side.

I'll worry about work tomorrow, tonight I'm ready to have a toe curling self-love session.

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