Page 93 of Never Quiet

“God yes. The sex scenes are so dirty but the characters and story arc are fabulous. The action feels realistic. I’m addicted. What are you reading?”

“A novel about a scientist. No romance but I love the flow.” He told her the name and sipped his sparkling water while she put it in her phone. “I think I’ll check out your series. Dirty sex scenes and action…hmm. Any new musical favorites?”

As had always been the case between them, they had much in common despite their backgrounds and age differences. Amanda didn’t have to pretend fascination with their fast-moving conversation.

The food was delicious, the atmosphere relaxing, and they sat talking for two hours. She didn’t know where her team was or where his people were positioned, but it didn’t matter.

“I know we’re essentially waiting for the other shoe to drop, Hayden…but thank you for this. I haven’t talked about these topics in months, haven’t had a moment to just sit and enjoy someone’s company. My guys are amazing but I feel like I lean on them too much for companionship. I feel much better now.”

“I’m sorry you were hurting.”

“I went from an incredible amount of love, attention, and interaction to nothing overnight and…I realize it’s spoiled of me to say that.”

“Not at all. Your bond with your family is lovely.”

“I hit a low point,” she acknowledged. “I-I wouldn’t hurt myself. The thought scraped across my insides like barbed wire. I was instantly ashamed, off balance.”

“You were ashamed of feeling lonely?” She inhaled deeply and stared into his eyes. “You strive for perfection in every area of your life but it’s okay to stumble sometimes.”

“Thank you, Hayden.”

“In the future, I expect full disclosure between us, Amanda. I don’t like that things got to such a point for you. I never suspected a thing in all your texts over the last three months.”

Choosing her words carefully, she explained, “I know the life you lead, that you rarely have downtime, and I never want to be a burden or some damsel in distress.” She smoothed her hand over her thigh. “It’s important that we’re on equal ground, Hayden. You’re the only friend like me that I have now.”

They stared at each other in silence.

Hayden knew Erick personally – as he knew all the Hardings – and was no doubt aware that he was the man who’d taken Amanda’s virginity. She could tell he put the pieces together with very little information.

“Unfortunate but given his age, not altogether surprising.”

“Agreed,” she murmured.

“Are you alright, Amanda?”

“I knew awkwardness was a likely result and prepared for it. Losing his friendship entirely…that I did not expect. Had I known it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference regarding my bounty, I would have avoided the embarrassment.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugged. “Other than you, he was the only person I could talk to about the things that interest me without someone’s eyes glazing over.” With a small smile, she added, “The last months, our text conversations have saved my sanity.”

“You’re a refreshing change of pace for me, Amanda. I spend most of my time talking about horrible things and chasing deplorable people. Having a beautiful, intelligent, and eloquent woman to talk to about books, music, computers, and science is not something I experience often.”

“I’d be honored to provide it.” Tilting her head, she asked, “How old are you, Hayden? I used to keep track of years but now just remember the day.”

He smiled. “I so enjoy your thoughtful gifts.”

“You know I love the ones you send me. Mine are silly since it’s unlikely you actually need anything. Caroline says it isn’t the gift but knowing you’re in the thoughts of another person.”

“How painful it is to be twenty years older than you.”

She shook her head. “I doubt you’d fall in love with me even if you weren’t, Hayden. I get the feeling there’s someone you already love. Someone you don’t feel you can be with though I can’t imagine the reason.”

“Your intuition is remarkable.”

Softly, Amanda replied, “I recognize unrequited love.” Reaching out, she placed her fingers on his forearm. “Spending time in your company will be the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I enjoy the person you are.” Maintaining eye contact, he lifted her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. “You’ll still provide substantial temptation, I think.”

His hold allowed him to yank her out of her chair and into his arms. He lowered her carefully to the deck under the table as two men came over the rail.

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