Page 121 of Spark of Obsession

My mind races at what to do about Graham. Today’s meeting didn’t help solidify my wishes. Instead, it ignited a fire inside him that cannot be tamed.

20

As soon as I unload my bag at home, I hear the ping of my phone signaling a text, and I quickly turn it over to read the message.

Zander: Feeling bored and want to come over and hangout?

Angie: Sounds good. I can be there in 10-ish.

Zander: I’m leaving the lab, so I can just swing by and pick you up.

I freshen up and wait for the doorbell to ring. Zander greets me at my door with his boyish smile, and I instantly relax after an intense day. I need his company and carefree spirit more than I initially thought.

“Hey you,” I say.

“Hey yourself.” He studies my face. “You look like you have a lot on your mind.”

My shoulders droop. “Yeah, it has been one of those days.”

“Same here,” he says as we walk to his car. “I’m regretting the help desk job even though the pay is steady. I just feel like my brain cells are getting killed by every person who could have fixed their own problem by a simple restart. There are only so many ‘shut it off, count to ten, and turn it back on’ directives I can say in a shift without completely cracking.”

“You’re so much better than that, Z. You really need to find something more fulfilling until you can apply for the real jobs.”

He starts the engine and backs out with ease. He gives me a lopsided smile. “Do you ever just sit and watch the sun rise and set and wonder if you just wasted an entire day of your life? One you can never get back?”

“Yeah. But until recently, I wished the days would go by. That is what sadness will do to a soul. It will try to rush time. As if time is the enemy. I have so much pain still inside that each day I have to entangle it from what I need to accomplish. Otherwise, I would never get out of bed.”

Zander reaches over and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. It is platonic and sweet.

“I’m tired of waiting for life to just happen,” he sighs, placing his hand back on the steering wheel. “Nothing just happens…at least nothing that is worth living for.”

I turn in my seat to look at him. Something is bothering him. He always has a sensitivity about him, but this is more than just having a rough day at work. He pulls into his parking spot and we exit. The music blaring from the townhouse vibrates my core, nearly making my teeth chatter.

“How can you live like this?” I grumble.

“I’m usually gone during the day,” he laughs. “Plus, they chill the fuck out when I show up and are actually human when you arrive.”

“Maybe I should stop over more often then.”

“You are always welcome here, Angie. You know that.”

Zander unlocks the door and we step through. He grabs the remote from the top of the TV and turns down the music to a non-deafening level.

When the roommates leave for a bar gig, Zander and I enjoy some beers and the leftover pizza he has in his fridge. We play some old-school video games together and laugh until we cry. It feels so good to just relax and rest my mind from all the chaos.

“Have you heard from Resa?” he asks, drawing back his beer.

“No, but I text her daily to see if she is okay. Her roommate checks in with me and says she’s been staying over at her boyfriend’s place. I won’t be surprised if she doesn’t withdraw from school and go back home.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I think she was pressured into attending college in the first place. Her mom basically encouraged her to come to find a husband,” I sigh. “We aren’t that close. She mainly keeps to herself. But from what I know, her mom is pretty traditional and puts marriage up on a pedestal. Maybe this whole thing isn’t for her, and she is just going through the motions to please her family.”

“I really want you to be careful. No walking alone or taking chances,” he warns. “Not until these bastards are caught.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll be careful.”

My mind starts to become fuzzy after the second beer, and I rest my head on a sofa pillow as Zander chats about potential internships and job prospects. I love how passionate he is about programming. But I just cannot keep my eyes open.

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