Page 40 of Crash

I stare at the certification for completing my twelve-step program. Sitting in a white frame on my fireplace at my new apartment. A grin curves the edges of my lips. I spin in place, grabbing my backpack.

I am starting college late, but it’s worth it. I had an illness to concur. Demons to slay. I will never be cured, but as long as I practice my techniques, take my medication, and want to live, I can manage a normal life.

Six months ago, I tried to kill myself. It’s an eerie feeling to think about my mind frame back then. How I had just accepted death as a way to escape. I shake the thoughts, walking to the elevator and taking it down to the first floor where a driver is waiting for me.

The drive is short and when I step out, taking a huge breath of air, I sigh. The campus stretches out for miles, people milling about on their way to class. My shoe sinks into the fresh grass, a smile playing on my lips as I take another step.

Bring it on, world. I’m ready for you.

CHAPTER 21

JASMINE

14 YEARS OLD

Where it all began…

“I won’t,” I sob as I clutch the gun.

“Baby, you have to,” my dad whispers.

My mom sighs. “Can we hurry this up? I have things I need to do.”

My dad frowns at her, then looks back to me. “Just close your eyes and squeeze. You have to kill the man who tried to hurt you.”

I shake my head. I know this is wrong. I don’t want to do it. I look over to the corner where Easton and Uncle Vince stand. Easton looks put out with me as he whispers harshly to his dad. He is so mean to me. I hate him.

I’m about to protest when a hand wraps around mine and pushes my finger to the trigger. Four times.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

The sound echoes in my ears, my screams mixing with it. The man’s eyes are wide as he stares at me. Void of life, no sparkle in them.

My hands shake as I wipe blood from my face. I look to the hand wrapped around mine still clutching the gun, and then, the owner. Easton.

“Look. Now we can all go home. Congratulations. You just killed someone.” He walks off, his dad shouting after him.

I close my eyes, refusing to look at those dead eyes, but then I do. And I scream. I scream so long the next thing I know, I am in a white room being given medication that makes my reality fade, warm calm cradling around me.

EASTON

I had to do it. We would have been there all day if I didn’t. I helped her. She should be grateful. Why did she have to be so damn weak? You kill and move on. I had my first kill at twelve and I did just fine. So what was her problem?

I sigh, looking out the window as my dad drives me to summer camp. Summer camp for kids who need structure. I helped her and now I’m being punished. Really? Anyone else see something wrong with this whole situation?

My dad says I need to learn boundaries. I didn’t mind Jasmine before. She was quiet. I was intrigued with her, actually. Which I didn’t understand so I just stayed away from her. Felt safe that way. And now I know why. Me being intrigued turns into me wanting to help. And look where that got me.

I don’t like Jasmine Renae Andrews.

CHAPTER 22

JASMINE