Page 71 of Ashes

Her words give me pause. She was unconscious when I killed Colton, so I’m assuming she heard one of us talking about it, and that’s how she knows. The girl loves to eavesdrop.

Her bright eyes are full of curiosity, free of judgment and fear, so I choose not to lie to her. “I didn’t, but I wish I did. He killed himself by drinking too much alcohol.”

“I’ve never had a daddy before. Do you think that a daddy would want to have me?”

“Yes, I do. There is someone out there who would love to be your dad.” She stares at me for a moment, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

Olivia opens her mouth to speak, but I’m too afraid to find out what her next question will be, so I cut her off. “Are you going to stay? Or am I going to give you money?”

“I think I should stay. At least until after dinner, and maybe after I shower and brush my teeth too.” She grins, standing up from the bed.

With a smile, I stand. “Good choice, kid. Unpack your bag, then go play. Do whatever it is that kids do.” I’m walking toward the door, ready to leave, when she calls my name.

“Eli?”

I turn toward her. “Yeah?”

“You’d be a good daddy.” My face pales. She hurries off toward her bathroom, leaving me frozen in place with my heart dropping into my stomach.

Fuck, that was unexpected.

thirty-six

LEE

Eli won’t admit it,but he adores Olivia. I know he does, regardless of how much he likes to pretend that she annoys him.

Since the six of us have been living together, I’ve learned a few things about the not-so-mysterious Eli Hale.

First, despite his cocky egotistical attitude, Eli is shy and unsure of himself.

Second, Eli loves deeply but has a tough time showing it because of his childhood. I know his mother loved him, but he spent his younger years begging for his father’s attention after she died.

Third, his love language is physical touch. He needs to be touched to feel loved, and to show his affection, he touches because he has a hard time saying what he feels.

Fourth, Eli Hale is in love with me.

I know he is, even when he doesn’t like to admit it.

Fifth, Eli Hale loves my daughter, and fatherhood looks pretty damn good on him.

Sixth, he will do anything for me. If I asked him to reach into the night sky and get me a star, he would. Of course, he’d have a few choice words to say about it, and he would call me a spoiled brat, but he’d do it because he wants me to smile.

It’s odd, but having Olivia here has brought us closer together. We’re all learning not to be selfish because we have a child to think about. We have each other to think about.

Something always felt like it was missing when it was only Eli, King, Rowen, and me. I now know that it was Ace and Olivia that were missing. I hate to say everything happens for a reason, but part of me has always felt that Olivia being raised by Rachel was only temporary.

I never would’ve wished death on her. It’s tragic, it is, but I can’t shake the feeling that she was a necessary sacrifice. I feel like the world’s biggest piece of shit for even saying that.

Rachel was my friend, and she died because of me. She died because of my choices, but I can’t allow myself to dwell on that. If I spent time thinking of all the people that lost their lives because of me, I’d never be able to get out of bed.

I’m a walking red flag, and everyone should steer clear of me.

Everyone who gets near me dies.

Cassie died.

Delilah died.

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