Page 89 of Pretense

“But first.” Essie wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes to put her face nearly level with his. “You still owe me a kiss. I brushed my teeth. Then I ate some bread and cheese, but I haven’t thrown up since then.”

And then, even after that dubious statement, he kissed her. And Essie could think of nothing that spoke of love more than that.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Edmund disembarked from the elven train, his boots sinking slightly in the spongy moss that covered the train station in Estyra. A breeze tossed the strands of his blond wig, as if to drive the dagger in deeper. He was returning to Estyra dressed as Elidyr for the first time since he had walked away from Jalissa years ago.

He had messed up. Not in telling Jalissa. No, he couldn’t regret that, no matter how much it hurt to see her return to frostiness.

No, he had messed up back then. A nineteen-year-old who had foolishly ignored all his spy training as he let himself fall for the older, elven princess who had confided her heart to him on those dark, lonely nights. He had known better than to get close to a mark.

And then he had bungled it even worse in the way he had ended things by leaving, then killing off his cover.

Even now, he wasn’t sure there had been a better way to handle that ending. He couldn’t have told her the truth back then without risking war. The only way to have done things better would have been to never let their romance begin in the first place.

After leaving the platform, he waited in the shadows of a tree, trying to blend in with the bustle rather than appear to loiter. More elven guards than usual patrolled the platform, eyeing everyone getting off the train with added suspicion.

Good. That meant Weylind was taking precautions. But if the guards were still here, then the spy-assassins hadn’t been caught when they had gotten off the earlier train.

Jalissa strode off the train with an abruptness to her steps that was unlike her usual, serene grace. With the light brown wig changing her hair color, the guards didn’t give her a second glance, as they would have if they had recognized their princess stepping off the passenger train.

Sarya trailed after Jalissa, still looking a little too much like a guard to fully blend in. The two of them headed in Edmund’s direction.

Jalissa halted in front of him, her face hardened into set lines. She spoke with a bite, her eyes flashing. “Well? Off to your next safe house?”

He resisted the urge to flinch. He deserved her anger, after all. “No. I never set up a permanent safe house here. It would have been too easily discovered. Besides, once I had gotten myself a job, first at the palace, then at the noble’s home, I was provided a room.”

“So glad my family could help you spy on us. That must have been so convenient.” Jalissa crossed her arms, as if to better wall herself off from him.

He would not flinch. He had carried on after losing her twice before. No reason he couldn’t do it a third time.

He gestured toward the dagger she wore tucked into her boot. The smile and the levity didn’t match the disguise he wore, but he couldn’t fully step back into the persona he had cast off so long ago. “Would it make you feel better to stab me?”

That just made her glare sharpen. “Maybe. But I will wait until after we have caught these assassins. You cannot find them if you are bleeding out.”

“True.” Edmund glanced around, noticing that the guards were starting to take notice of him, Jalissa, and Sarya still loitering. “Besides, you’d probably get arrested for assaulting some random elf here on the main street of Estyra. That might be a little awkward to explain when your brother has to come to verify who you are and bail you out.”

Edmund started in the direction of the street, and thankfully Jalissa and Sarya kept pace with him without prompting. After a few seconds, the guards’ attention swiveled away from them.

Jalissa waved her hand. “Both of my brothers would help with the stabbing if they found out the truth.”

Edmund couldn’t help a wince at that. Weylind’s cold, disapproving gaze he could handle. It would be Farrendel’s betrayed look that would hurt more than an actual dagger. His brother-in-law had experienced enough betrayal in his life without Edmund adding to it.

Would Jalissa tell them? Should Edmund? Weylind had formed friendships with all of them, especially Averett, during the war. And that friendship had led to deepening ties between their kingdoms. Would this secret not only shatter those ties, but the treaty along with it? The last thing Edmund wanted was for his spying during the almost war to cause an actual war.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at Jalissa. “Perhaps it would be better if they didn’t find out. Or, at least, if Farrendel didn’t.”

“Fine. I will not tell them. But you need to promise me something in return.” Jalissa stepped in front of him, forcing him to halt facing her. Her dark brown eyes had a steely look he had rarely seen in her. “I want you to promise that when this is over, you will leave Tarenhiel and never step foot in it again. I cannot force you to stay away from Farrendel while he is in Escarland, but I want you to stay away from my kingdom and my family. Understand?”

He caught his breath, his heart aching in a way that nearly had him hunching over. She was asking him to never return to the people and places in Tarenhiel that had come to mean so much to him while he had been a spy here. If Essie invited him to visit, he would have to find excuses to never come, ignoring the way his refusals would hurt her.

But if this was what Jalissa wanted, then it was the price he would have to pay. His life spent in the shadows had consequences. He forced himself to hold her gaze, no matter how it pained him. “If this is what you wish, then I promise to do as you ask once the spies are caught.”

Jalissa nodded sharply, then spun on her heel to march down the street once again. “Good. Now, where do you suggest we start searching?”

Focus on the mission. He would mourn this loss when he was back in Escarland where he could throw himself into whatever work he could beg out of General Bloam.

Edmund forced himself into a casual stroll. “There are five places to rent rooms to stay in Estyra. I think we should start with the cheapest one tucked into one of the side streets. That’s where I would get a room if I were them.”

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